As defined by the dictionary, being independent means being “free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.” Ever since I was a little girl, both of my parents raised me to be an independent person. They gave me the freedom that I needed so that I could grow into the young adult that I am today. I was taught very early on that it is only me who has the power to control my life and my decisions. I was taught to understand that I was only given one life and I should not waste it under the control of another human being. I learned that my life is not for my parents to live or for them to decide. Both of my parents have always allowed for me to make my own choices and to determine what I wanted to do in life. Allowing me to be an independent child meant that they gave me total control over my life, and for that, I will forever thank them. Here are the three things my parents told me about my life, my choices and my future.

1. It’s your life, not mine.

“I can’t tell you, and I won’t tell you, how to live your life. Every choice you make, every decision that you consider is all completely up to you. It was my job to raise you, to teach you right from wrong, but it has never been my job to control you. I will help you, and I will give you guidance, but I will never make your life seem anything other than yours, because at the end of the day, it’s your life not mine. You have the power to be who you want to be. You can’t depend on me to live your life for you, but always remember that your life is yours.”

2. You are old enough to make your own choices.

“I can’t be with you every second of every day. I can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. We raised you with morals, to know and understand the difference between right and wrong. You are old enough to know the difference between good choices and bad choices. You can’t depend on other people to constantly do that for you. You have to learn what judgments are best during your everyday life. You have to be able to make mistakes so that you can learn from them. What you do and the choices you make are only between you and God, they are not between you and me. I won’t walk in your footsteps every day. I won’t have to live with the outcome of your choices and I won’t make you live with the outcome of mine. If you never learned to make your own choices, then you would grow up being someone who constantly depended on others to make them for you.”

3. Your future is in your own hands.

“There comes a time in your life where you have to decide what path you want to take, where you want to end up. That is not for me to decide, that’s up to you. Do what makes you happy, do what you feel is right. All that matters in life is that you do what made you the happiest. The future is yours, and you have the power to determine where it might take you, but just remember I will always support you in everything that you do.”

I will forever thank you, mom and dad, for letting me be my own person, for letting me make my own choices, for letting me decide who I want to be. You have raised me to know that my life is for me to decide and for me to live. I could never thank you both enough for raising me this way. I hope to one day raise my children the same way you have raised me, to allow them to be themselves, to be their own person and to one day, be the independent adult you hoped I would become.