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Politics and Activism

Pssst If You Litter, You Are The Actual Worst

This is something that should go unsaid.

Madison McNulty

Jun 20, 2018

Louisiana State University

*Pssst* If You Litter, You Are The Actual Worst

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtGsdiYdObQ

Maybe not full-on Norman Bates psychopath, but you definitely suck. Why hurt the earth, the one place humanity can live on, like that? Do you hate life and all it has to offer? Are you trying to be the reason for a cute, innocent animal to have a six-pack wrapper around its neck? Personally, I am not an extremely aggressive person, but if someone deliberately throws their trash on the ground, I'm going to go John Cena on their ass (I'm talking to all the Spring-Breakers out there that annually trash our beautiful beaches). I am also not an extremely green person, (and if you are, that is amazing and humanity and future generations thank you) but I do try my best to do the little, decent things to keep my footprint as little as possible.

So, please, do the decent thing and throw away your MF coke cans, gum wrappers or whatever your choice of trash is. The Earth will thank you for it. And if for some reason you still feel compelled to trash our beautiful home, here's a list of annoying people that will forever be a million times better than you:

1. People who tailgate you in the slow lane even though they could easily get around you

Just let me drive like a grandmother in peace, damn.

2. People who clap at the end of movies

3. People who try to trump your stories with their own stories

4. Lil Tay

5. People who don't cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough

6. People who spoil movies or shows for you

7. People who drive slow in the fast lane

8. People who pride themselves on being "deep"

Okay, we get it, you're in-touch with your feelings, welcome to the club

9. People who only talk about their study abroad trip

10. Interrupters

11. People who claim they "found" that song

Just because someone hears a song first, doesn't mean they have the right to annoyingly remind everyone every time the song plays.

12. People who don't know how to walk in crowds

13. People who push through crowds at a concert so they can be in the front

14. People who exhale loudly after every sip of a drink

15. Loud eaters

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*Pssst* If You Litter, You Are The Actual Worst

This is something that should go unsaid.

In This Article:

1. People who tailgate you in the slow lane even though they could easily get around you

2. People who clap at the end of movies

3. People who try to trump your stories with their own stories

4. Lil Tay

5. People who don't cover their mouth when they sneeze or cough

6. People who spoil movies or shows for you

7. People who drive slow in the fast lane

8. People who pride themselves on being "deep"

9. People who only talk about their study abroad trip

10. Interrupters

11. People who claim they "found" that song

12. People who don't know how to walk in crowds

13. People who push through crowds at a concert so they can be in the front

14. People who exhale loudly after every sip of a drink

15. Loud eaters

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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