She’s his first love and the status of their relationship is imperative to the way he will one day treat you. Mothers are responsible for taking care of our hearts and molding our minds, they’re the most influential people in all of our lives. If that relationship is tainted, it can cause some serious issues all the way into adulthood. A healthy home environment is detrimental to mental growth, for personality disorders don’t develop themselves and bad habits don’t form by themselves.

No stranger to mentally unstable men, I’ve dated my fair share of crazies, and they all seemed to have mommy issues. In relationships, I tend to take on a “Dr. Phil” like role, I allow my partners to speak freely without any judgement about anything. Men are comfortable discussing every expect of their lives with me including; work, exes, sex, friendships, health, and family. Listening is a skill I’ve mastered and I tend to use it to my advantage, particularly when they start speaking about their mothers.

Perhaps you’re like me, a great listener. If so, you’re five steps ahead of the game. Menfolk are much more emotional than they want us to believe, you have to know how to get inside their heads. The left side of the human brain is logical; the right side is emotional. As we all know men are logical thinkers, so how do you trigger the right side of a man’s brain? Easy, get him talking about his family, specifically his mother. This will be your gateway into gaining a piece of his heart.

Guys are oddly obsessed with their moms, even if she was a shitty parent. They love them more than anyone on Earth. If they shared a good relationship, then the “odds are ever most in your favor,” he’s probably a hopeless romantic (with the right woman). A guy who has a positive relationship with his mom is not just hopping into a relationship with any and everybody. He’s waiting to find someone as special as his mother. Men like this take their time to find the perfect women, which I can respect, but it’s a little farfetched. Stop trying to date your mom, doesn’t that sound a little strange when you say it out loud. “I want to marry someone just like my mom.” Um, who are you Oedipus? Give us girls a break, we’re not longing to be you mothers, more like your mates. A few similarities are okay, but when you start comparing us to your unflawed mothers, none of us stand a chance.

On the flip side, not every mother son relationship is perfect. If “mommy dearest” wasn’t so dear and the relationship was a bit of a struggle; then your man is probably a little more apprehensive when it comes to women. This guy was emotionally damaged by his first love, his mother. For whatever reason these men tend to jump quickly into relationships. My guess is he’s searching for the nature his mother failed to provide. Sadly, this just leads to underwhelming relationships that will only further hinder the way he views love. This guy is like Hamlet, he wants love, but he thinks women are evil, because his mother wasn’t that great. Torn between wants and needs this man is what Jhene Aiko refers to as the “Lying King.” He’s confused, therefore he confuses you… with lies. Both men take a little work to win over, but for two completely different reasons.

Which brings me to the man raised by a single mom. Men brought up by single mothers treat women significantly different, because they became their mother’s protectors at young ages. Guys I know who were raised solely by their mothers have often stated “I hate seeing a woman cry.” I’m pretty sure it’s, because they’ve witnessed their mothers’ tears and he don’t enjoy it. I don’t think anyone can handle that. Men who grew up with LOVING single mothers, don’t intentionally hurt women. I stand strongly behind that statement, if his mom was a good woman, he’s probably a damn good man. Specifically, single mothers that lost the fathers of their children to death or even situations where the fathers were never there. I can’t speak on single parent households where the dad was active, because this opinion is coming strictly from experience.

However, the men that come from the situations I am speaking of have a different appreciation for women, and show us a higher level of respect. Listen to what you man says about his mom, and give him want he needs based off that. Rather it’s a little extra attention or a more space. The relationship a man has with his mother, doesn’t determine rather or not he’ll cheat on you, but their relationship can help you decode his intentions and behavior. Pay attention to the content he provides you with, it will only give you more insight on how he operates.