The dating world today has become a complete mess of hookups, assholes, and people treating others like they are totally disposable. Many people take being single now as, “Hey, I am free to treat others however I want because I am fun, flirty, and free.” And as a single lady in the college dating scene, it can all be a bit overwhelming, very angering, and quite disheartening. So, let’s set a few things straight here because I, for one, am growing tired of the absolute carelessness. Call me emotional. Call me stupid. I don’t care, but I have some things to say.
1. You can have a hookup AND still care about the other person's feelings.
Yes. I have hooked up with people. It happens. And afterward, unfortunately, it usually comes with a lot of disappointment and harsh feelings. Some of my friends have told me things such as, "I mean, it was just a hookup. You can't expect him to be a great guy. Why don't you actually look for something real?" Hold up. Right there. Just because we hooked up one night doesn't give him the excuse to treat me like garbage. I am a person with feelings. I'm not trying to get a ring out of it, but I would still like to be treated with respect. And if I am upset, it doesn't mean I got "attached." It means I am upset at the fact I was treated poorly as a human.
2. Just because you hook up with someone doesn't mean you have little self-respect or no control.
This one ties with the whole slut-shaming attitude many people have acquired lately. I am not here for it. I am sick and tired of guys and girls asking people for their body count and using that to calculate how much respect one has. It isn't correlated. It never will be.
Are they being safe? Is it consensual on both sides? Are they happy?
If yes was the answer to all the above questions, leave the person alone and move along, dude.
3. If someone has never been in a relationship, please don't say, "Oh my gosh. Really? How is that possible? Like, why?"
As a person who has never been in a relationship, this conversation tidbit is the most dreaded one. I don't know why no one has taken that step with me. I've liked plenty of guys. In fact, many of my guy friends are guys who have put me in the friend zone. I honestly can't tell you why no one has been attracted to me enough to want something special and intimate. Yes, I am self-conscious about it. Please quit asking.
4. The length of a couple's relationship doesn't equal happiness level.
I always hear people say, "They have been dating for over a year so they must be so happy." Now, I am no expert on relationships, but I have had plenty of friends who have been in long relationships, but they are miserable. You never truly know the inside scoop of someone's love life. Please don't look to Instagram to determine it.
5. Just treat people nicely. Be nice. That's it.
I could go on forever about this subject, but the bottom line is this, be nice and treat others with respect. Being nice doesn't mean you want to settle down with someone. It means you are a person who understands everyone has feelings. This honestly applies to any scenario in the world.
