When we first met, I had no idea where life was going to take us. I was pregnant, you were fresh out of high school. (Disclaimer, not that big of an age difference!) You were still dating your high school sweetheart, I was single. But, there was such an undeniable chemistry between us. You would do anything for me, and I for you. We had our differences, for sure. You still wanted to go out and party, where I was perfectly content staying in.
You told me once that I’m the only one who can really get to you. To this day, you still remember when I got in your face and yelled at you for wasting your life. I told you it made me SO ANGRY that you weren’t doing anything with your life, you had so much potential, and it was just wasting away. That night, you signed up for college and started turning your life around. You’re welcome, by the way.
People told me to keep my guard up with you, that you were a player and I was just going to end up hurt. But, I couldn’t do that with you. For some reason, I trusted you, with everything in me. You made me nervous, you made me crazy, you made me angry, and you made me happy. Forget the butterflies, I felt the whole zoo when I was with you. No matter how many people told me to stay away I just couldn’t do it. I kept going back to you like a puppy.
But then, that day came. You know exactly what day I’m talking about. I came into work to fill out my paperwork so I could return from maternity leave, and one of the girls said you had something you needed to tell me. I’m not going to go into detail, the world doesn’t need to know. But, that day, I lost all the faith and trust I had in you. One sentence is all it took. 4 little words. But they completely destroyed me. I was done. Everyone was right, I thought. I did just end up hurt. And that was that.
You kept apologizing and asking what you could do to make it up to me, but I was just so angry. I didn’t want to talk to you, but at the same time, I missed you. I missed the texts and late night phone calls. I missed being able to just give you a look and you knew all I needed was a hug. I missed you saying “Hey, meet me in the BDR” and I knew you were going to kiss me. As angry as I was, I still couldn’t let go.
A few weeks later, I started dating the man I ended up getting married to, and that’s when it occurred to you, you really lost me. I moved on, I found someone to support me and love me, or so I thought he would. We talked occasionally, mainly just telling each other we heard a song or saw something that reminded us of each other. You always asked how I was and how my husband was, but I know you were just being polite. Then one day I told you my husband and I had been fighting a lot, and you were there for me. Even though I knew you still had feelings for me, you put them aside, and you were just a friend to me, which is exactly what I needed.
The night my marriage ended, you were the first person I called. 2:30 in the morning, crying my eyes out, you just listened to me sob, which is all I wanted and needed. We talked and talked until I just couldn’t cry or talk anymore. And that’s when you took a leap of faith. “One date. Just let me take you on one date.” You told me you understood that it was going to be a long time before I was ready for any type of relationship, but that you hoped when I was ready, you’d be the one for me.
You’ve been my rock through this whole situation, you’ve done more for me than I ever expected, and I know that your actions and words aren’t going to stop. You said you’re taking this as your second chance, and you aren’t going to mess it up again.
Truth is, you’re the only one who can really get to me. I’ve forgiven you, for your past mistakes, and you for mine. We aren’t all perfect. A friend asked me why I was giving you a second chance, after what had happened, and I said, why not? It’s been almost 3 years since that happened. And you’ve grown up a lot. You’ve let me go, you let me find my way, you let me be happy, even though it was killing you inside that I wasn’t with you, I was with someone else. But, that’s how I knew that you truly loved me; you let me go. You just wanted me to be happy.
So, thank you for our date. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for letting me grow and be me. Thank you for caring for my son. Thank you for bringing me flowers. Thank you for not pressuring me into anything. Thank you for telling me when I just need to calm down, because you know how I stress over things. Thank you for being you.
I can’t wait to see where life takes us this time.
