Dear future baby girl,
Although I’m about 20 years early, I’m embodying the quintessential mother and making sure you know what "not" to do. Aside from the obvious list of “don’t throw your vegetables away” or “don’t stick your head outside the window,” I have a few more I’d like you to know. Considering we haven’t even met yet, I’ll cut you some slack and try not to make this too long. Also, I’m scared of sounding too ostentatious. (Oh wait, never mind, I think I covered that with this word.)
Do not apologize for your choices: Your choices and decisions make you your own person. Don’t apologize for being opinionated or disagreeing with the majority. Don’t apologize for dreaming, for being in love, for what you wear, or for your preferences. Remember that studying history doesn’t make you even a tad less intelligent than studying computer science. Either way, you’re a young mind that’s helping shape our world. Whether you make loads of friends and become a social butterfly, or have a handful of close ones and choose to stay home more often, you will be dearly loved. Sex is normal, and just like there’s nothing magical about being a virgin; there is nothing disgraceful about not being one either. It doesn’t make you a prude or a slut, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Don’t settle: Do not ever settle for something that is less then what you deserve. Remember to persevere and never take no for an answer. I will hopefully have raised you to be your most extraordinary self, and you deserve the whole world. So shoot for the stars, transform your dreams into an empire, and always know that there isn’t anything you can’t achieve unless you don’t want to.
Don’t conform to society "norms" or feel a sense of duty: If anyone ever gives you any advice that begins with “It’s because you’re a woman” then run in the opposite direction. You never have to feel a sense of duty to be a quiet and polite young lady, a conscientious wife, or even a mother. You get to choose your work, your relationship status, and whether to be a parent or not. Choosing to be independent doesn’t make you any less ‘feminine’. You are a woman and will always be a woman, and it has nothing to do with changing your surname or pushing a human out of your uterus.
Don’t be afraid to be bold and determined: You have been raised to be powerful, to be assertive and to not tolerate being wronged. It is NOT your fault that those men are ‘visually violating’ you, and it is not your fault if some brute tries to hurt you because of what you wear, how late you’re out, or what you drink.
Don’t be afraid to take that job halfway across the world, don’t be afraid to change your major at the eleventh hour, and don’t be afraid to eat what you feel like, because you don’t need to be a Victoria Secret angel to be beautiful. Lastly, don’t be afraid to wing your eyeliner and darken your lipstick.
Don’t give up on love: I know there will be a time when you think you will have fallen in love, and you will be able to relate to every Taylor Swift song and every Bollywood movie, and it’s possible that all your hopes and dreams will come crashing down. It’s possible you won’t end up with your first love, and that’s okay. I want you to know that it’s not the end of the world, princess. You’ll think that you’ll be alone forever, but someone else will come along and sweep you off of your feet, and you’ll laugh at your initial paranoia of never having someone else to love ever again. So don’t give up, always be in a state of love; personify it, distribute it, and expect it with all your heart. Heartbreaks can make you stronger and I promise no matter how hopeless things may seem at the time, I’ll unconditionally love you and stock up on comfort food.
Don’t punish yourself for making mistakes: Your mistakes and failures are your greatest learning opportunities and I’d hate to see you give that up. Some you may not be proud of, and some will help you grow up. Make plenty of your own mistakes and discover the joys of gaining experience from them. It’s always praise-worthy to set high standards, but not always being able to live up to them shouldn’t be a reason to belittle yourself.
Lastly, don’t forget to put me on speed dial.
Hugs,
Mom
