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A Visit To Chipotle As Told By 10 GIFs

An experimental essay on dining.

Andrew Miller

Sep 10, 2018

Florida State University

Wikimedia

Due to recent events, I feel compelled to write this chronology of Chipotle. Many of you will feel the struggle, however, I always order my food online. Unfortunately today the website was busted so I couldn't get a pick-up time at my local 'Potle so I was forced to walk in there like a plebian. I won't make the same mistake twice...too costly.

1. It starts in my car, swerving to avoid the people who just back their cars out without even looking.

2. After parking safely, I walk up to the door hoping against hope there's no line today.

3. To my dismay, I make it about one centimeter into the restaurant to discover the line is to the door.

4. Feeling a mix of hunger pangs and regret for not ordering online, I begin to question my dedication to this fine Mexican grill known as Chipotle. How bad do I want to eat here?

5. I take a look outside to see that Tennessee Street is backed up with traffic all the way to Blountstown. The amount of time it would take to get food somewhere else is an unbearable thought.

6. I'm here so I might as well stick it out. Let's check Instagram or call my third Aunt Linda who I haven't talked to since Christmas of 2008. That ought to take up some time.

7. I'm almost to the counter. White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...

8. I'm here only to realize they're out of steak. Guess it's just chicken today boys...

9. Wait! They said they're making some right now! It's a good day when I can go half and half at Chipotle.

10. Time to pay and get home so I can watch Netflix while I eat.

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

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When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

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New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

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The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

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Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

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A Visit To Chipotle As Told By 10 GIFs

An experimental essay on dining.

In This Article:

1. It starts in my car, swerving to avoid the people who just back their cars out without even looking.

2. After parking safely, I walk up to the door hoping against hope there's no line today.

3. To my dismay, I make it about one centimeter into the restaurant to discover the line is to the door.

4. Feeling a mix of hunger pangs and regret for not ordering online, I begin to question my dedication to this fine Mexican grill known as Chipotle. How bad do I want to eat here?

5. I take a look outside to see that Tennessee Street is backed up with traffic all the way to Blountstown. The amount of time it would take to get food somewhere else is an unbearable thought.

6. I'm here so I might as well stick it out. Let's check Instagram or call my third Aunt Linda who I haven't talked to since Christmas of 2008. That ought to take up some time.

7. I'm almost to the counter. White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...

8. I'm here only to realize they're out of steak. Guess it's just chicken today boys...

9. Wait! They said they're making some right now! It's a good day when I can go half and half at Chipotle.

10. Time to pay and get home so I can watch Netflix while I eat.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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