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A Visit To Chipotle As Told By 10 GIFs

An experimental essay on dining.

Andrew Miller

Sep 10, 2018

Florida State University

Wikimedia

Due to recent events, I feel compelled to write this chronology of Chipotle. Many of you will feel the struggle, however, I always order my food online. Unfortunately today the website was busted so I couldn't get a pick-up time at my local 'Potle so I was forced to walk in there like a plebian. I won't make the same mistake twice...too costly.

1. It starts in my car, swerving to avoid the people who just back their cars out without even looking.

2. After parking safely, I walk up to the door hoping against hope there's no line today.

3. To my dismay, I make it about one centimeter into the restaurant to discover the line is to the door.

4. Feeling a mix of hunger pangs and regret for not ordering online, I begin to question my dedication to this fine Mexican grill known as Chipotle. How bad do I want to eat here?

5. I take a look outside to see that Tennessee Street is backed up with traffic all the way to Blountstown. The amount of time it would take to get food somewhere else is an unbearable thought.

6. I'm here so I might as well stick it out. Let's check Instagram or call my third Aunt Linda who I haven't talked to since Christmas of 2008. That ought to take up some time.

7. I'm almost to the counter. White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...

8. I'm here only to realize they're out of steak. Guess it's just chicken today boys...

9. Wait! They said they're making some right now! It's a good day when I can go half and half at Chipotle.

10. Time to pay and get home so I can watch Netflix while I eat.

Things People Without A Typical 'Boy Name' or 'Girl Name' Know To Be True

All names should be "unisex names."

Tulane University

There are tons of unisex names that are popular: Taylor, Alex, Bailey, etc. There are also numerous names that are used for both sexes, but they’re not seen as “unisex” yet. People are slowly becoming accustomed to the dual use of these names, but for the most part, in their minds they associate certain names with certain sexes. And that leaves those of us with these names in many awkward situations.

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Lifestyle

16 Secrets Anthropology Majors Never Admit To

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

Washington College

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I'm an anthropology major, and I love every minute of it. I couldn't tell you why, but I guess there's just something about studying different lifestyles that absolutely fascinates me. But anthropology majors definitely have our weird sides, especially when you go to a school that is filled with mostly Business and Bio majors. But us weirdos definitely have a lot in common, specifically these 16 things.

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Featured

14 Things The Extremely Pale Are Tired Of Hearing

I get it... I'm pale.

University of Vermont

2050

Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

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Lifestyle

8 Stereotypes Sorority Girls Are Tired Of Hearing

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

Temple University

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Verge Campus

Being a part of any organization undoubtedly comes with the pitfalls of being grouped into negative stereotypes, and sororities are certainly no exception. Here are the top few things, that I find at least, are some of the most irritating misconceptions that find their way into numerous conversations...

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

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Well all those fundraisers and marketing should would be a waste then wouldn't they?

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A Visit To Chipotle As Told By 10 GIFs

An experimental essay on dining.

In This Article:

1. It starts in my car, swerving to avoid the people who just back their cars out without even looking.

2. After parking safely, I walk up to the door hoping against hope there's no line today.

3. To my dismay, I make it about one centimeter into the restaurant to discover the line is to the door.

4. Feeling a mix of hunger pangs and regret for not ordering online, I begin to question my dedication to this fine Mexican grill known as Chipotle. How bad do I want to eat here?

5. I take a look outside to see that Tennessee Street is backed up with traffic all the way to Blountstown. The amount of time it would take to get food somewhere else is an unbearable thought.

6. I'm here so I might as well stick it out. Let's check Instagram or call my third Aunt Linda who I haven't talked to since Christmas of 2008. That ought to take up some time.

7. I'm almost to the counter. White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...White rice, black beans...

8. I'm here only to realize they're out of steak. Guess it's just chicken today boys...

9. Wait! They said they're making some right now! It's a good day when I can go half and half at Chipotle.

10. Time to pay and get home so I can watch Netflix while I eat.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!