One afternoon during my fall semester of my freshman year, I was talking on the phone with my mom when I vividly remember her encouraging me to go to the movies by myself. I thought to myself: why would I ever do that? Why would I ever go to the movies, buy myself a small popcorn, and sit there by myself while groups of friends, or better yet, couples, surrounded me in the theatres? Well, after my many years of wisdom since that incident (haha, sarcasm. It’s only been two years later) I found my answer.

During that same conversation, my mom explained to me that the moment you are confident enough to go to the movies by yourself is when you can truly call yourself independent. My mom has always taught me to be comfortable with being alone. In fact, being able to be alone and to enjoy spending time with yourself is one of the most liberating feelings. The moment where you can be alone but not feel lonely is independence, and as a young female, that’s one of the most gratifying feelings.

Sometimes, I feel that society pushes women to be so dependent. Dependent on men, dependent on your friends, and dependent on acceptance of other people. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to depend on others and trust people to have your back. I don’t think one person is capable of doing everything alone. I do, however, think it’s important that we know what exactly we are capable of. If we don’t explore life independently, how will we know our true selves? How will we know our likes and dislikes, our dreams, and our passions without the noise of everything surrounding us?

Going places alone and doing things alone teaches you about yourself. Recently, I studied abroad with my university. After the session, I traveled around Italy for a week by myself. I got through the language barriers, conquered public transportation, stayed in hostels, and truly learned about myself and enjoyed myself. There was not one moment that I wished I had traveled with people. Why? Because I finally learned how to be confident in myself, trust myself in both comfortable and uncomfortable situations, and have fun being completely alone.

So, I encourage you to go see that movie you are so excited about by yourself. Go to the mall, do a little bit of shopping, and then buy a pretzel and sit down for a while. Go to your favorite restaurant without your friends and feel confident when you walk in alone. Buy your favorite book and go read it at a coffee shop. Be happy with yourself.

So, what do Lil Boosie and my mom have in common?

They taught me to be independent.