Coming Soon to a Theater Near you: [Insert Movie Title Here] | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Coming Soon to a Theater Near you: [Insert Movie Title Here]

The Movie Review to End All Movie Reviews

3
Coming Soon to a Theater Near you: [Insert Movie Title Here]
pexels.com



Hollywood has done it once again! [Insert Movie Title Here] has proven that with stellar previews from some of the studio's hand picked audience, wonderfully brief and flashy marketing, and an adorably fun cast, people will call anything a good movie.


Ah yes, this was one of the most anticipated movies of the summer, according to every other commercial that was airing on my daily marathon of The Real Housewives of the Television Ratings. [Insert Movie Title Here] stars that lovable ensemble cast of characters that you've seen in every single movie or television show for the past 2 years trying desperately not to be the next B-List. You have the goofy yet lovable weirdo (screw-ups of all ages love his wacky antics!) The gruff ex-solider who learns to love again (Relationship drama is a good replacement for actual character development, right?) The oddly sexualized relatable, "average" teenage girl (she's just trying to fight zombie-alien-shark-jocks and make it to prom looking great.) These wonderfully 2-dimensional characters are among other cast members you aren't supposed to care about because the marketing department forgot to put them in the promos. Having all of them on screen at the same time surly makes it feel like there is at least one fleshed out character. The dynamic between all the cast members feels like the kind of interaction you'd have with your good friends, whom you've previously payed millions of dollars to be your good friends. I mean, look at the interviews between the cast, doesn't it look like fun? Don't you want to be there with them enjoying their good time? Well now you can for a whopping $13 (Plus the lobster dinner in the shape of terrible popcorn) for only 8 minutes a piece of course! We wouldn't want them to work too hard for that Oscar!

When you go and see this absolute masterpiece of a film, make sure you listen closely for the actual example of dialog, as it will be hard to hear over the monstrous special effects to enhance your movie experience. The FX made me feel as though I was really there during the end of the world or an average day during US occupation in a foreign country. I felt like all the explosions and death were right next to me, sure took my mind off of the explosions and death! You can really tell that all of the greatest special effect artists were gathered to fully remake the movie using CGI (computer generated images.) I think I saw a real rock for a second, I'll have to ask the director to fix that in the inevitable "1 Year Anniversary Special Edition Directors Cut" for $200. Can you say preordered!? Nevertheless the graphics made me understand the true need for CGI in movies, as I didn't have to stretch my mind to any point to understand the movie, I just watched the pretty colors all fly across the screen every 5 seconds!

The plot is one of the most important aspects of a movie in my opinion. When a movie is lacking a good or sensible plot, it really takes a way from the whole experience for me. How really good can the storytelling be without an interesting story to tell?
....
Oh, you want to know about the plot in this film? Why do you care? What are you a critic? Plots aren't for us!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

14074
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

2786
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1681
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments