“There’s a paradox in thinking that you’re better than other girls, when your whole reason for feeling that way is because you think your gender is so inherently inferior that you want to dis-identify with being a girl altogether.”
When I hear “You’re not like the other girls,” I hear “You’re not nearly as shallow or vapid as women are presented in the media.” Women are misrepresented as a stereotype obsessed with shopping, boys, and all things pink. While there is nothing wrong with being interested in these things, it is important to remember women are so much more than that. There is no need to accept these preconceived gender roles that tell women what they should like and what they should do. These stereotypes are detrimental to the wellbeing of both men and women. There is no box that we should have to fit in. Our hobbies, interests, preferences, etc. do not define what sets us apart nor does it determine our masculinity or femininity.
This so-called compliment praises one woman while simultaneously degrading every other woman. Feeling the need to claim your difference from most women perpetuates the idea that there is something inherently inferior about females. The women I know are strong and intelligent. They are generous and beautiful inside and out. So, it’s heartbreaking to hear “I’m not like the other girls,” when the other girls are as brilliant as they are. It is a compliment to be compared to the other girls, yet we internalize the sexist view that we must be different from them to have something to offer the world.
This internalized misogyny spurs women to like things perceived as masculine in order to be more liked and accepted. In reality, it is impossible to pigeonhole all women into one category of ‘the other girls.’ Liking things against the stereotype of a female does not make you any better or worse than another individual. You can like to shop and your favorite color can be pink and you can still be a complex woman that is smart and strong. Women- just like men- are individuals that deserve respect as human beings.
It’s okay to be like the other girls, and be proud of that.
