I hate it but I love it. I have an addiction to filling my planner with things I need to do, and in high school I was the poster child for what it looks like to spread yourself too thin. I just like having places to go and people to see because it makes me feel like I’m being productive. There’s a sense of urgency and importance put in my life when I know I have things to do, and oddly enough, I do my best work when I have a million things to do, though I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m a planner, okay? I like to think I can be spontaneous, but it gives me anxiety. I think the last time I did something spur of the moment, as in making a decision within five minutes, I felt like throwing up. I like to sit down with my planner each week and use my color-coordinated pens to outline each day according to what I need for each class, what I need for my sorority, what I need for my club, what I need for work, and what I need just to survive. It is also no secret that during finals week I schedule time to relax each day, but I’m not embarrassed. There are many virtues to being organized and on top of your game, and now that I’m older, I’m not afraid to admit that I thrive best when put on a schedule.

But don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I can’t have fun, but having fun when you know there are things you need to be doing is pretty wasteful in my opinion, because the whole time you’re off doing other things and swaying from responsibility, all that’s on your mind is the fleeting time you have to finish what you should really be doing. I always have the most fun when I know for a fact I have done everything on my checklist and there is absolutely nothing stopping me from letting loose.

Moreover, sitting around doing nothing has its perks, relaxation being number one, but at the end of a day just sitting around watching movies or sleeping in really late or not leaving the house, I feel as if I’ve wasted a day and pretty much just feel like a slob. I absolutely hate coming downstairs in early afternoon after just waking up to find that someone else has already been on a run, went to the grocery store, and is now getting ready to go to the library before heading out to dinner that night. I know everyone has his or her different priorities, but that very thing makes me feel so meh about myself. So, the natural solution is to simply do more things. This can have negative consequences and you should always give yourself a personal day when you truly need it, but I suppose my biggest challenge in college is to know when I really need a day off and when I’m just being lazy. I’ve just grown to be so sick and tired of being lazy over the last few years that it’s lit a fire under me to just have so much to do that laziness isn’t an option. So cheers to the early morning wake up calls and color-coded planners, this one’s for you.