I love Christmastime. It’s an interesting thing getting to go to a private Lutheran college, after a lifetime of public education; my school is free to embrace the holidays which its religious affiliation celebrates. Our campus also gives a Kwanzaa dinner, as well as others to embrace and recognize holidays besides the Christian “big one”, as we strive to show care and consideration for students and faculty of all religions; but it’s definitely an exceptional joy for me as a cultural Lutheran to be able to put on one of the most phenomenal concerts the choral world has ever seen without worrying about retribution from some higher authority.
Christmas at Luther features six choirs, a symphony orchestra, and a group of wildly talented bell ringers. Each ensemble performs one or two individual pieces, and there are four or five mass pieces (in addition to audience participatory carols during transitions!). A concert experience of this magnitude has left me in tears more times than I can count (my cup literally overflows), and continuously blesses me with the reminder that I get to go to a school that teaches me as much about the diverse world we live in as I choose to seek out, while also letting me embrace my favorite holiday to its fullest.
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While my school is by no means perfect, and I cannot completely put myself in the shoes of someone not white or Christian, from where I’m standing it’s an amazing thing to be surrounded by an acceptance of all holidays rather than a suppression of them. This is a world I would like to live in; one where we can greet each other with our personal holiday cheer and appreciate each and every one. While I appreciate what public schools have done as a protective measure to make sure that no one feels like a religion is being impressed upon them, I’d rather experience the “all” rather than the “none”. Maybe this is just a personal preference, or a random thought train, but the positivity in that feels much more progressive.
This brings me to something I heard in a devotional speech prior to our last Christmas at Luther concert this past Sunday; an outgoing senior, on his way to student teaching, gave a beautiful reflection on being a “light” in the world. When we tell others to be a light in the world, this is often interpreted as a push for constant or contrived positivity. I see it however, as mere existence. Whether we try to or not, simply being alive makes us a light of the world. Being “dead” inside simply isn’t a thing.
This is often how depression is explained, but even then, the feeling of emptiness is just that: a feeling. If you are breathing, you are a light.
I’d like to clarify that I’m not saying depression isn’t a very real thing, but most people I’ve known who have suffered from clinical depression (including myself), have experienced a time absent of the crippling pain we know as CD (even if that time away is unfortunately fleeting for some). But still, even when one cannot feel as an effect of depression, grief, or trauma, they are still emitting a light into the lives of those around them. This may even be an incredibly positive one, despite their internal state of existence. For example, there have been times where good friends have thanked me for being such a bright light on Facebook, even though these may have been times of intense darkness for me.
Again, this post is not arguing that all those who are feeling alone or lost should force themselves into a place of positivity if that’s not what they’re able to do then, but rather a statement of hope. A reminder that even when the world feels dim, cruel, and full of hate, we have the power to change that light (even if it’s just lighting a single candle of compassion).
If every teacher went on strike, maybe real change could happen in public schools. Similarly, if every person who is feeling like all hope is lost for our country and world chose to demonstrate as much kindness, love, and music for those most persecuted (this may even be themselves), maybe we can change the impending narrative. Those fearful need to continue to fight, and continue to feel every emotion they are as deeply as they deem necessary.
A positive light does not have to exclude negative feelings. Anger can be a very positive thing, and lead to very positive change (as can sadness, when channeled effectively). If we embrace all of these lights, then we can begin to see the world as more human and therefore more malleable. It is when we ignore certain lights that we become immovable in our sorrow; just as we are capable of focusing on more than one political issue at the same time, we can embrace more than one feeling.
We don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying a moment in the snow, even when the pain of the world is weighing down on our hearts and threatening the lives of many. Joy can be present in anxiety. Fear can be present in privilege. Empathy can be present in ignorance. We cannot stop fighting injustice just because it is a holiday season, but we do not need to ignore our personal needs for light and song just because the world is hurting. Lives are hurting. They always have, though maybe more than we’d like them to at this moment in history.
But I [you] am [are] not Wonder Woman. I [You] cannot save the world in a day, and trying to will only consume me [you] in helplessness. I [You] can embrace the silliness, the laughter, and the light, if only to be one for those who cannot yet find it themselves. I [You] can be quiet and listen when asked to, and in doing all of this intentionally and mindfully, I [you] can keep my[your]self lit.
