1. The tan lines are real.

And although tan lines are part of the job, skin cancer is real as well. There isn't a moment I DON'T have sunscreen on, but you can still see where my watch, shorts and sunglasses sit 25/8.

2. People will ALWAYS be swimming.

98°F and sunny? The pool is full. 70°F and raining? There are still some psychopaths who feel the need to get their money's worth and come to the pools.

3. You’ve seen more nip slips than anyone really ever wants to, among other things.

Lifeguards do more than just guard water. We also dispatch slides, operate wave-rider attractions and help provide first aid when necessary. In the throws of all of the rides and slides, sometimes a guest will lose a part of his or her wardrobe.

While it's usually fixed pretty quickly, it's important to play it cool, not comment on it and just pretend you saw nothing.

4. Guard class and inservice training are workouts.

You don't know true struggle until you've been a 5-foot female trying to hold the weight of yourself and a 6-foot male, all while applying rescue breaths and trying to avoid a spinal injury. Or, you could just do laps in the wave pool. It's your choice, really.

5. PDA has never been more disgusting.

It's not even just teenagers who do it. I've seen middle aged couples, MIDDLE SCHOOL couples and even an 80-year-old man in a speedo with his 30-year-old wife. If I'm being honest, I've never been more scared in my life.

6. You have a new appreciation for life jackets.

YOU get a life jacket and YOU get a life jacket! Everyone gets life jackets! I don't care if you're 4-years-old and just learning how to swim or if you're 12 and can swim just fine! You can never be too safe, and it makes me feel a lot better.

7. You’ve never been hated more in your life.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't let you leave your toddlers in my wave pool on their own. I'm not your baby sitter. And no, sir, I cannot let you down my slide in jeans. I know someone let you on last week and you won't tell anyone, but you aren't the one who gets yelled at when the intertubes get popped and our slides have scratches on them, are you?

8. You become everyone’s personal safe.

No, I won't hold your wallet or your phone or your glasses. You can leave them at the item drop, like everyone else. I guard water, not valuables.

9. Chicken fights are terrifying and make you scared at just the idea of them.

I don't understand the appeal. If you sit on someone's shoulders and try to push someone else off, you're just asking for a spinal injury. No, you can't do it, and I honestly hate you a little bit for asking.

10. You’re the worst person to have at a pool party.

Once I had my lifeguard friends over to swim in my parents' pool. We fit 12 people into our hot tub at once, and five people onto one small pool float. Then we got all of the guys to try to flip us over.

We advocate safety, except when we're in the water. Then it's a free for all.

11. Your lifeguard family is just that: a family.

They've seen me at my best and my worst. We've huddled together during storm closings and scanned in for each other so we can cool down during a heat wave. We've supported each other through every nightmare guest and exceeded audit.

Lifeguarding is honestly like a cult. But we're all tan and love the smell of sunscreen, and I wouldn't have it any other way.