In the land of children, I was seen as some kind of unicorn misfit. Why? Because I am an only child.
Through the young and innocent eyes of children, I was something almost unheard of, and back then I couldn't wrap my immature mind around why everyone was so fascinated by a simple fact that I didn't have any siblings. Now that I'm older I realize that back in my unicorn years, those being second to seventh grade, only ten percent of America's child-bearing households consisted of a single child.
My unicorn years consisted of the same three questions over and over again. My peers always questioned if I liked being an only child, do I wish I had siblings, and what it is like to be lacking brothers and sisters? Though I don't remember how exactly I used to answer those questions as a child, I do have definite answers to them now, as well as a grown perspective on what it has been like to grow up an only child.
Do I like being an only child?
Yes, I really do like it. I have always been able to have my own space and my own property without fear that a sibling will come barging in and irritate me or take my things. I also am really close with my mother and I really do believe that it is because I was the only child for her to bond with. It is also because of our strong bond, and the fact that no one came before me, that I am able to have quite a bit of freedom and I have grown up in an environment where adults trust me. I have so many friends that have older siblings who have ruined experiences for them because they did something irresponsible and their parents no longer trust any children to that situation. So, yes, I really do like being an only child because I was able to thrive in my own spotlight and not in someone's shadow.
Do I wish I had siblings?
Not at all. I really value solitude and my personal space. I don't believe myself to be a greedy person, so I am not saying I don't want to share my things, rather I enjoy being able to have a bit more control of when people are in my environment and for how long. Instead of having siblings forced upon me, I was able to choose my own siblings among my very close friends; I even consider one of my best friend's little sister to be my younger sister as well. So I don't wish I had siblings, because I already do, I am just fortunate enough that mine did come with an off switch.
What was it like growing up an only child?
Growing up an only child was actually really fun. I had all of my mother's attention all the time. I was able to travel quite a bit because the cost of one child is less than the cost of multiple. Though maybe not in my case as I was definitely a spoiled kid; I was lucky enough to get a lot of what I wanted, but I was also taught the value of money, what it means to earn what you want, and that most kids were not as lucky to be in my position. I was taught to appreciate things as well as share with others. As the stereotype goes, many only children are greedy and entitled, but my mother raised me so much better than that, and that is something I really appreciate.
There are things I have learned growing up alone that no one else but only children will understand. It makes you appreciate things so much more and have a clearer outlook on things.
I have learned that unless you are an only child, you do not grasp the true meaning of boredom. You might get undivided attention from your parents, but that doesn't mean that they are always around to play with you, and your imagination will only take you so far. Even your imaginary friends will become boring after a while and you begin to crave the company of someone who is on the same intelligence level with you. Playing by yourself gets to be so mind numbing that it almost becomes a chore.
I have learned that I appreciate family time more so than some of my friends do. When you grow up in a household with a very limited number of people, it is so much fun to have family members around. A household full of people is so different and exciting that every moment spent with them is to be cherished. I even feel this excitement when I am at friends' homes when they have a lot of family around.
I have become fairly extroverted. Yes, I, like everyone else, have moments where I am very shy, but for the most part I am quite extroverted. How could I not be? The only way to survive vacations, trips to the park, and visits to local pools were to talk to other people and make friends. With saying this I feel the need to mention that while I do behave fairly extroverted, I am also very sensitive. Growing up without siblings means that you don't become very tough because no one fights with you or calls you names, so when it comes time to face any type of judgment, it is very hard to take criticism well even when you know someone isn't trying to hurt you.
I grew up with impeccable manners and a vast vocabulary much quicker than other kids, and I now appreciate that quality in others. Yes, any child can have good manners and be taught to annunciation, but when you grow up with only adults, and only have conversations with said adults, it makes you become more level-headed much quicker.
I learned how to be independent and responsible at a much younger age. When you grow up alone there is no one to play the blame game with, if you made a mess there was no question on who did it, and whose responsibility it was to clean it up. In turn, that showed me what it mean to be independent and how to do things for myself.
Finally, I learned being an only child is hard. You do miss out on that sibling relationship dynamic, and no matter how close I become to a friend I will never understand that feeling of flesh and blood. That is okay with me though, but I grew up with a million other experiences that not many people understand.
Growing up an only child isn't easy, it isn't all presents and freedom, but if I got to choose having siblings or not, I would keep my life just how it is.
