I sit in class and watch the professor go through the Power Point slides. I watch him but I’m not listening to what he is saying. I write down notes but I wont remember what they mean the next time I look at them.
Social scientists must maintain value neutrality….Did I have homework for my next class? Did I do it?... I have to study for that test on Thursday…What am I going to wear tomorrow?...Is that my phone, maybe I should look at it… wait can you go back two slides… what are we talking about?
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Before I know it its been an hour and twenty minutes and class is dismissed. I got nothing out of the class period because I was too busy in my own thoughts to listen to the professor talk about statistics. Its not easy. Getting distracted comes so easily. Its hard for me not too. Can you imagine what its like to have your mind constantly wonder and not being able to control it? I just figured it was normal or maybe that college wasn’t for me. After all I never had a problem in school until now.
In high school tests were always my downfall but paying attention was never really a problem until I started lectures in college. It became more of an issue for me to pay attention and then tests became more of a problem because I didn’t know any of the information. What was wrong with me?
I shorty found out that I had ADD and have been living with it my whole life. It just didn’t become a big issue until college. A lot of people don’t know that I do have ADD. I didn’t even know until about 3 months ago. It’s hard to go from not having any problem in school to having all the problems in the world. What I thought was normal was something that I thought I never thought I had. I was lucky to find out when I did or I probably would have dropped out of school at some point because it was too hard for me to pay attention and comprehend the information. My mind constantly wonders all the time and I have to learn to live with it. I have to work harder than everyone else to keep up my attention span.
The worst part for me was trying to figure out why no one ever saw that I had ADD form the beginning. Why did it choose to come about now? Now what do I do? Why did I not have this problem in High School? In high school, the classes were only thirty minutes, so it was easy to keep my attention. In addition, we did a lot more interactive hands on work, where as in college its more of a lecture. The lecture gives my mind more reason to wonder. Some people think that it’s easy to live with because you can just be medicated and it will be cured. That’s not the case. Medication does help control the symptoms but it doesn’t cure them. Medication helps your brain focus more than it normally does or like a person that doesn't have ADD should. However, it does wear off at some point during the day. Most medications only last 4 to 8 hours.
What a lot of people don’t understand as well is that there is a difference between ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). The most obvious part is ADHD has hyperactivity, which I don’t have. ADD focuses more on being unorganized, not being able to concentrate on one subject, finding it hard to complete everyday activities, avoiding doing tasks they don’t want to do and replacing it with things they want to do, easily distracted by a loud over bearing environment and often forgetting easy or small information and directions.
As classes started I have learned to cope with my ADD and learned how I function with it and what’s best for me. Im still learning about it and how I function as an individual. Even though I get help from different sources, its still hard. I still find myself wondering in class but I have to bring myself back and focus on what I have to do. I learned that even with a learning disability it is possible to do everything you want to do. If I never found out about my ADD I probably wouldn’t be Albright still. I probably would have dropped out because I constantly felt that college wasn’t for me. It turned out that I just wasn’t able to learn like everyone else could and that’s okay. My ADD doesn’t define who I am or what I want to be. Its not an excuse for everything that I do wrong. However, it is a part of who I am. I have become accepting of the fact that I have it. In the beginning I couldn’t picture myself having any type of learning disability. Now I see that there’s nothing wrong with it.
That was the main purpose to this article. To show that I am not ashamed of having a learning disability and that I am open with talking about it. In addition to that, I wrote this to give people a better understanding about what people with ADD go through in a day. Which is a big step for me. When I received the news that I had ADD I didn’t want anyone to know that I had it. I slowly realized that it doesn’t matter. My family supported me no matter what and I know my friends that I have would be there for me any way they can. I have become a little more accepting of having ADD. It has become easier for me to talk about. I look back on it and I realize that finding out that I have ADD was a blessing. Without it I wouldn’t be where I am today and I wouldn’t be going where I want to go. Yes, I`m going to struggle but knowing I have it will help me succeed in everything that I want to do. For the soul reason that ill know how to cope with the symptoms and everything that comes with it. Its not easy but you learn to live with whatever life throws at you, that’s how it is. I never thought I would be in this situation but I am. My ADD does not define who I am, it is a part of me I’m proud of but I wont let it define me.
