Chronic pain is something that no one can prepare you for. It hits you suddenly… and then stays there. It’s like a constant throb that no amount of hot showers, body rubs, or E.R. prescribed pain medication can heal. Chronic pain is like a glow-in-the-dark tattoo on your forehead. When everyone else is invisible, you stick out like a sore thumb.
I’ve lived with chronic pain for over a year now and let me tell you, it’s something that no one who hasn’t experienced it firsthand can understand. It’s something that doctors can’t solve. No matter how many times you go to see your primary care provider, enter the E.R., or even engage in a full-on hospital stay; no matter what name they stick onto you as if you have a secret identifier; no matter what medicine you take or what at-home method you try, it will be there. Don’t get me wrong, having a diagnosis and medication is great and all, but when you have a chronic pain or illness it’s never actually solved no matter what treatment you undergo. In fact, those with a diagnosis are the lucky ones.
I am not one of those lucky ones. Though I have several of what my cultural anthropology professor would call “floating signifiers” to describe various conditions that have various effects on my body, I have yet to receive that magical diagnosis that labels what I experience every day. Doctors love labels. They love having something to describe what it is that’s going on and if you can't be labeled, if they can’t find some way to categorize what you feel and what symptoms you have, then as far as they’re concerned you’re fine and you’re just out looking for some party pain meds. The saddest part of that is that they’ll actually give them to you.
If you go to the E.R. complaining of any type of pain and the doctors discover that you’re not going to die if they don’t treat you, they’ll send you home with a large bottle of pain medications and some informational papers on the chronic and/or simple condition that you have.
When I was younger, I used to think that doctors were these hero-esque type people who knew everything. I truly believed that the medical field had an answer for everything, a diagnosis for any issue that I could experience. I held these beliefs up until I actually had to begin to rely on doctors to determine my standard of living. It was about a year ago when I realized that doctors don’t actually have all the answers. They can’t just run a few tests and return you back to normal with a standardized treatment. It turns out that most chronic conditions go undiagnosed for years at a time. Even when they are identified there’s no standardized treatment. There’s constant testing, small surgeries, E.R. visits, pain medication, antibiotics, and sleepless nights.
Going so long without a sound diagnosis up to this point comes with repercussions, decidedly worse ones than being doled out pain meds and waiting countless hours in hospitals and doctor's offices. Without physical proof, there is no evidence for doctors to latch onto that you actually have a medical condition. If there’s no medical condition, then, of course, there must be a mental one. I don’t know about any of you, but I’ve come to realize that medical doctors have a tendency to look down upon mental illnesses. They don’t view them as true conditions and once they’ve decided to view you in this light, they will no longer listen to you.
Not that they listen in the first place.
Being told over and over again that your pain has no physical cause and that there’s nothing wrong besides what is in your own mind plays an extremely detrimental role in your life and on the way you view yourself. You begin to believe that the pain isn’t real and eventually you might even stop seeking help.
When it gets to this point, the most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Thousands of patients with chronic pain and chronic illnesses have similar experiences to mine and these patients need to understand that you decide your own future. If you feel that there’s something honestly wrong, then there probably is. If doctors don’t give you satisfying answers or are simply writing you off, don’t give up there. Keep pushing, keep fighting. There will be someone out there who will listen to you long enough to catch the thing that all the others have been missing. So many chronic conditions go undiagnosed
: endometriosis, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), stomach ulcers, chronic kidney disease, chronic yeast infections, myasthenia gravis, IBD (inflammatory bowel disease), and many more. Most people don’t realize that many common conditions or illnesses can, in fact, turn into chronic conditions. Lower back pain can turn into sciatica; recurrent UTI’s can turn into chronic kidney disease or hydronephrosis.I encourage anyone who’s gone through chronic pain or illnesses to do research on your own and see a variety of doctors. I encourage you to trust your body and your instincts. Remember that the pain won’t go away on its own and even if you do find coping mechanisms (an absolute must!), you also need medical help. Don’t give up when at first doctors can’t find a diagnosis, and never settle for an answer you’re not happy with. You are not alone. There are so many support groups and caring people who can help you through the process of diagnosis and treatment. My personal support group is actually a Facebook support group called All Diseases Matter Support Group .
To anyone who has not personally experienced chronic pain or chronic illness: I encourage you to educate yourself about it. Help those around you who are currently suffering from this degrading lifestyle and provide support when others are pointing fingers. If you currently have a friend or family member with a chronic condition, please understand that they’re not complaining for no reason. Please understand that it is extremely difficult for them to constantly participate in everyday activities and don’t be harsh when they refrain from going out or even getting out of bed. You may not understand the condition, but understand the hardship. Reach out to those you see hurting and discourage those you see criticizing them. You never know what someone may be going through.
