We all love dogs. I share my home and my heart with three. They are Jude, a very loving and extremely stubborn Husky mix of 3 and a half years. The whirlwind, Lucy who is a German Sheppard and Husky mix at about 7 months old and then there is Emma, she is a 2 year old Mountain cur, terrier mix. Life with dogs is amazing but it is also a never ending learning experience because they have a tendency to be total assholes. So here, I would like to share 9 things that I have experienced and learned from as the parent of insanely stubborn and super spoiled dogs.
1. "Days since something has been destroyed..."
Zero. The answer will always be zero. Huskies are notoriously destructive dogs and they literally do not care about what they are eating. They also love to dig... outside, in the couch, in the kitchen floor, its all the same.
What I have Learned: I will always come home to find something chewed up and I have come to expect it. I have leaned that sweeping up shredded paper is far less emotionally taxing than trying to glue the floor back together. Having bones and durable toys on hand is always a good idea.
2. “What is in your mouth?!”
Anything and everything.
What I have learned: Even when they aren't alone in the house, the dogs will usually find something to chew on. If you catch them after the first crunch, and before the third, the victim my be spared.
3. "Could you please calm down?"
All dogs have the tendency to get hyper from time to time. Doggy Freak-outs are a regular occurrence when you have three dogs who are all energetic breeds. They get rough, they get wild, and nothing is safe.
What I have learned: At the first sign, you just have to buckle down and pray that they don't knock over the TV... again. Because there is no stopping them.
4. "Get your sister's head out of your mouth!"
When they can't find something better to chew on, there is always a cat on hand. What blows my mind is that the cats don't even care.
What I have learned: Because the cats don't care that their head is in a larger animal's mouth, it will always be up to me to save them.
5. "Hey, come back here!"
On the rare occasion that one of them slips out the front door, they instantly forget their name.
What I learned: Always keep the leash and bag of treats within reach of the door. When the sound of my voice is not enough, the rattle of the treat bag will always get their attention.
"6. Scoot OVER!"
My dogs are spoiled. They will always want to cuddle at bedtime. Unfortunately for me and my girlfriend, they take up quite a bit of space.
What I have learned: If we get in the bed before they do, they will fall in around us... or on top of me. But if they are in the bed first, forget about it. The bed is theirs, they just let us sleep in it... sometimes.
7. "Why are you so loud?"
Dogs bark. Dogs howl. When you have 3, making a racket all together, it sounds like a war zone.
What I have learned: If I howl with them, they get annoyed and stop. I would imagine it's a "Mom, you're embarrassing me," kind of thing.
8. "No, this is my food."
All dog owners go through the struggle of trying to eat a meal. The sad little staring eyes. The added weight of a dog's head on your thigh.
What I have learned: Ignore them. Power though it. If you give in, they will take full advantage and eat all your food.
9."Just let me be mad!"
Dogs are smart animals. When they have done something that they shouldn't, they know. First comes the onslaught of guilty faces and side-eyed glances. Then, the wiggle-butt dance and if that doesn't work, you will be attacked by unwanted lovin.
What I have learned: There is no use in fighting it. You cannot stay mad at them, even if you really, really want to. I guess its better to just be glad that they love you enough to not want you to be upset.
I love my dogs, I wouldn't change them for the world, but they are assholes. They are almost as bad as the cats... but that is a topic for another day. Until then, here are more dogs being assholes, just for good measure.
One More...
I lied.
Okay I'm done...
