When analyzing different personalities, one particular trait that seems to stand out is sensitivity. Although sensitivity is simplified to the concept of being easily hurt or offended, there is much more to it when you are characterized as an HSP, or a “Highly Sensitive Person.” As an HSP myself, I have been told countless times before to “stop being so sensitive” or “don’t take things personally” but people fail to realize that it is just an inherent part of who we are and it is not a switch that we can just turn off. HSP’s are often mistakenly categorized as introverts or shy people but that is not true. In fact, 30% of HSPs are actually extroverted but appear to be the opposite because they are aware of all of the possibilities in every given situation and tend to get easily overwhelmed when there is a lot going on at once. Be aware that there are different types of HSPs and some may have developed their personality due to trauma or past experiences. Although I don’t fit that crowd and I’ve had a fortunate upbringing, it is important to recognize that each person experiences a different sensitivity either genetic or learned, which is why I want to break down stigma and bring it into discussion.

Sensitivity is often perceived as a weakness or an abnormal trait, especially in such a fast-paced, competitive world. But, I’m here to tell you that we are not weak or broken and that sensitive people can actually change the world if their traits are properly harnessed and understood by others.

So, what is life like for a Highly Sensitive Person? It is a beautiful ride of overwhelming happiness, crippling anxiety and endearing passion. One defining characteristic of HSPs is their ability to pick up on subtleties in their environment. So, yes, I can tell when you are feeling upset about something based on the tone of your “I’m fine” or the look on your face. I tailor the environment and interaction to match the vibe that I get from you and ensure that you’re comfortable. Unlike others, I tend to take on the energy of my surroundings and can easily be affected by someone else’s mood. That is part of the reason why we are great listeners— I will genuinely listen to what you have to say and do my best to be intuitive and understand what you are going through. Another characteristic is that we tend to have rich, inner worlds. Personally, although I love to be around people and am extroverted in that sense, I do like to take my time to decompress and develop my inner world. We may be in our own little worlds at times but that time spent reflecting and analyzing is not a waste but an asset. The more time we spend bettering ourselves, the more of a positive impact we’ll have on those around us. That is why we’re so complex and you would be lucky if we trust you enough to let you into our inner worlds.

Another important trait is our tendency to be deeply moved by the arts. Most people can listen to a song and go about their normal activities without a care. When I listen to a beautiful song, I cry— not because I’m upset but because I feel the music so deeply and passionately. Don’t be surprised if we are in need of a box of tissues whenever we’re watching a movie or reading a book that we really enjoy. We just have a lot of feels okay?

What’s next on the list? Details. All of them. As detail-oriented people, we also find it really hard to make decisions. I remember going to a store and spending a solid 10 minutes trying to decide between getting a bag of Hershey kisses and cookies. As silly as it sounds, I would think about things like calories, long-term fulfillment, cravings, etc. Why the indecisiveness? We don’t want to make the wrong decision—- we’re the ones making pros vs. cons lists in our heads and making sure we don’t mess anything up because that is what makes us happy in the end.

So, if you know someone like this, recognize that it just who they are and that they shouldn’t have to change to fit the ways of a growingly insensitive world. Don’t tell them to “brush it off” or “stop taking things personally.” Instead, be there for them just as they are always there for you. Support them and love them—-they deserve it for all of the nurturing that they do in the world. And don’t rush them or criticize them unnecessarily because life is already complicated and overwhelming as it is with all of the stimulation and stress.