You are told that school prepares you for life. You are told that without the proper amount of schooling, you will not be successful in the real world. This is only a half-truth, because there are things that schools just don't teach. There are skills and habits that are essential to being successful that no amount of schooling can prepare you for. These are skills you didn't even know you needed until it was too late. Until you didn't get that job offer or make a terrible impression on your crush. By then, it's too late! Here are five skills that everyone needs in his or her life, but unfortunately have to learn about the hard way:
1. How to send an email.
Sure, everyone knows the technicalities behind sending an email. You write an email, put a subject on it, and then send it to someone. But sending a professional email to a possible employer is completely different from sending an email to a professor. Just like how sending an email to your aunt is different from sending an email to your coworker. There is no course on how to write an email. There is no guidebook on how to change your tone, or what font color is appropriate. Yet writing an appropriate email can completely change the way you're perceived in the workplace. The language you choose can make the difference between getting an extension on that paper or rescheduling an interview without losing face. There is a wonderful blog that helps break down the steps to writing an email, and even color codes various messages with how appropriate they are depending on the setting. This is a tool that can change your professional career, use it wisely.
2. How to make small talk.
Small talk is completely meaningless and hardly ever leads to a deep, everlasting relationship. That being said, if you suck at making small talk then people think you're a freak. It's unfair to have your character judged by your ability to talk about the weather, smile, and maintain eye contact; but that's the world we live in. Small talk makes you appear approachable, social, and easy to get along with; all of which are qualities that employers search for. Forbes published a wonderful article on how to master the art of small talk, be sure to pay attention to tips 5 and 7! This can be a game changer for making friends out of strangers or hitting it off in an interview.
3. How to ask a question.
Most people focus on how to answer a question with intelligence and tact. However, asking a question can get you a lot farther than trying to answer everything. You may not realize it, but if you aren't able to ask an intelligent question, then you will not receive an intelligent answer. If you find yourself rambling or talking in circles, you come off as unprepared and uncaring to the subject at hand. Be direct. Use concise language. Give the necessary details but end your question as soon as possible. A long-winded question can result in an unsatisfying answer, because he or she will have forgotten what you wanted to know in the first place and will just latch on to the last piece of your question. Both Dummies.com and WikiHow have lists on how to ask a good question, and both say the key to a great question is focus. Ask one question at a time, don't monopolize the conversation, and focus on the specific matter at hand.
4. How to write a thank-you card.
Writing a thank-you card is a lost art. Why write a card when you can send a text, email, or tag someone in a Facebook post? But a thank-you card is the secret to interviews, meetings, and making a lasting impression. Taking the time to write a card and send it displays effort, attention to detail, and gratitude towards the recipient. If you're new to a company or are an intern and a manager has coffee with you, send a card. They now have a physical, tangible representation of the time spent with you, and you will be harder to forget. In today's world, people are bombarded with emails and texts and notifications all day long, but a thank-you card is just the detail that sets you apart from every other person wanting a job, recommendation, or mentor. Liz Williams published a wonderful book on letter writing that breaks down every kind of thank-you that you could ever want to send. You can get it used on Amazon for as little as 69 cents and never worry about how to write letters ever again!
5. How to ask for help.
When you have a new job, a new class, a new project, a new date, a new friend, or a new boss, you never want to ask for help. You want to seem capable and hard-working, not like a buffoon who can't do anything! However, this is a common misconception, especially in school and the workplace. Fun fact: your bosses and your teachers actually want you to ask for help. When you ask for help genuinely and earnestly you appear independent and proactive. You aren't waiting for someone to tell you that you're doing it wrong, because you care enough to ask the first time around. Asking for help can be the best thing you do on a regular basis, if done correctly. You never want to appear as if you need help because someone else isn't doing their job correctly. You never want to appear as if you weren't paying attention when given the task at hand. You never want to blame the person you're asking for help as the reason why you keep asking for help. All of these seem like common sense, but you would be surprised. Psychology Today has a variety of articles on the issue, and Toni Bernhard wrote a very detailed and descriptive "How To" for asking for help from friends and family, which is another important skill entirely.
All of the skills described above occur regularly in our every day lives. We do them without realizing it. We make mistakes before we even know we've done anything at all. But paying attention to these subtle skills can drastically improve your relationships. Whether that be an employer, a coworker, a professor, or a dear friend, you decide. But these skills are frequent enough that you can't afford to keep screwing them up; lesson learned.
