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The Life Of A Picky Eater

It's not always easy hating food.

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The Life Of A Picky Eater
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People -- my family, my friends, my significant other -- despise me. Not because I'm a terrible person (I promise, I'm not), but because I'm a picky eater. If you're a picky eater like me, you know how much crap you get from everybody around you. If you're not a picky eater, I'm here to tell you what it's like.

1. If certain things touch your food, you won't eat it.

I hate tomatoes. Absolutely, 100 percent refuse to eat them; they're disgusting! Sometimes, I forget to get them removed from my order at restaurants, and they'll touch something I want to eat, and I will not eat whatever is touching them. It's not as simple as "just take it out," because it still has the juice on it, and then it's as though I'm still eating it! You may like tomatoes, but there's sure to be something that you refuse to eat, and if it's touching something else, you won't eat that either.

2. People give you side-eye at restaurants.

Whether it's your family, your friends, or even the staff -- somebody gives you the look. "You can't just order something?" "It's not that hard!" No, but yes, it is. It is that hard, because everything on this menu has something I don't like. "I'm sorry, I need another minute!"

3. Your order ends up being "I'll take this, but I don't want this or this or this on it and can you put this on the side instead?"

Cue an eye roll, and a "so you just want meat and cheese." Yes, that's what I said, but you don't have that on the menu so I have to order something you do have and take everything off of it. What can I say? I'm a picky eater.

4. A bag of trail mix ends up being a bag of raisins.

OK, so it could be "a bag of peanuts" or "a bag of almonds" -- but the point is, there is something in trail mix that you hate, and everybody hates you for it. I don't always hate raisins, but I refuse to eat them in trail mix. Whoever I'm sharing the bag with will then proceed to grab a handful of raisins, and give me a "wtf" face. Um, sorry?

5. People take it personally when you don't like something they cook.

I promise: it's not you, it's me. Your meal is probably wonderful -- for somebody who likes everything that you put into it. I don't like the majority of the foods you cooked with, so that alone should tell you that I'm not going to like your meal.

6. People always ask you "but have you tried it?"

OK, I'm going to stop you right there. The majority of foods that I say I don't like, yes, I have tried it. How else would I know I don't like it? The rest of the foods that I say I don't like, contain everything I don't like. This includes salsas and potato salads. Some people even go as far as to offer you money to try foods you haven't. If you make me try something, just because I haven't technically tried it, even though it contains everything that I absolutely hate, I will throw up. On you.

7. There's probably an entire category of things you don't like.

For me, it's sauces. I cannot stand the taste of 99 percent of sauces -- Italian, ranch, ketchup and blue cheese being the exceptions. This counts me out for Wing Stop and Buffalo Wild Wings, because I refuse to get wings -- and everybody looks at me weird when I order chicken strips or mini corn dogs.

8. There's things you like certain ways, but you don't like the majority of times.

I've already stated I hate tomatoes, but I love ketchup. People make fun of me for this all the time because "ketchup is tomatoes." Um, no it isn't. Have you ever looked at the ingredients on a ketchup bottle? They put a whole lot of things in there that isn't "tomatoes." If "tomato" isn't the sole ingredient, it's not tomato.

9. You hate trying new foods because you know you probably won't like them.

There's not many normal foods that I didn't grow up around. When I haven't tried it and somebody orders it, they always make me try it. Most of the time, I hate these foods -- which is why I hate trying new things. Every once and a while I'll find something I like, such as some sushi. Even if I think I might like something I won't order it myself, I'll try it off of somebody else's plate, because I don't want to get stuck with something I hate.

10. You eat at the same places a lot.

You know that your favorite restaurant has a specific platter you'll love, so why would you stray to a new place that might have things you don't like? Don't let anybody tell you not to go to that restaurant because you've eaten there three out of the last five times you've eaten out. Go there, and order your chicken nuggets!

11. You have "safe foods" for new restaurants

If you go to a new restaurant, you have to have a food to order that you're sure you'll love. My go-to's are chicken quesadillas at Mexican Restaurants and chicken strips everywhere else. There's only been about one restaurant to ever let me down when I order these foods. Plus, how else are you going to rank your favorite restaurants without a common factor?

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