I have always planned out my life. I felt like in this fast-paced world it was necessary to do so. There seemed to be a natural sequence of steps guided by our early academic life into our college career, followed by a job that I would hopefully land after a successful senior internship immediately following graduation. That is what I always envisioned when looking into the future. I have started feeling trapped in a way.
I felt like one of those rides at a theme park where you get to "drive" a car, but really, you get to steer a car under extreme restrictions. The car is allowed to veer only so far off on one side before it hits a track in the middle that aligns it right back onto center. In other words, I felt like while I had little lead way, I was never allowed to do anything drastic, like turn the car around completely or make a 90-degree turn to the left. These restrictions were partially set on because of societal expectations as well as expectations of myself.
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A lot of kids in the U.S. today, like myself, are expected to continue on to college after high school graduation; it’s just the way the world operates now. I do have strong feelings opposed to this because the academic world is truly not for everyone, nor every job opportunity for that matter. There is only so much a college classroom can teach you. Personally, I find the experiences outside of the classroom just as valuable in many cases. Of course, I would not be exposed to those specific volunteering or internship abroad opportunities if it were not for my college and major of choice, but that is me personally. I am not regretting my college decision or path by any means. I absolutely have made the right choice and have gained so many incredible experiences. However, I am trying to not put so many shackles on myself. It is important to have long-term and short-term goals in order to assess your progress and make sure you are taking the necessary steps in order to strive for something you desire to obtain. But, I am tired of following my plan. I am tired of lining everything up so that it works out perfectly, and I am talking about as big as making sure I find the perfect internship (amongst hundreds of options) that will line up to the perfect career, to as small as making sure I plan out my day perfectly by the minute.
Wake up. Life does not work that way. Life is not perfect!
I have put these crazy expectations on myself, and boy does it feel so liberating to take them off. Do not get me wrong, I am still a Type-A, motivated, ambitious person who has a multitude of plans for the future.However, I am removing the absurd expectation off of myself to align every detail out to fit an exact itinerary. I have learned to have faith; faith in the idea that everything is meant to be for a reason, and everything will happen at the time it is meant to.
