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The Life Of A Massage Therapist

The dark side of massage therapy

Leah Richards

May 15, 2017

Hoffman Estates, Illinois

633

q13 fox

Wake up and bend, go home and meditate, before going out stretch it out. In between bending, meditating, and stretching it out there is the rubbing of the random naked person (get your mind out of the gutter), stripping the sheets off the table and repeating the rubbing of the naked person again. These are all very normal things that happen in the normal daily routine of being a yoga instructor and massage therapist. Yes, this is not the first time I have written about my career choices and it will certainly not be the last. First and fore most I love what I do, I love helping people, and I love interacting with people. Second, there are aspects of the jobs I do that make me want to curl up in a ball and cry (which is normal, in my opinion). But, I am lucky with my jobs. I get to choose my own hours, work where I want to, and can essentially pick my clientele. Even though I have the best jobs on the planet, here are five reasons why being a yoga instructor and massage therapist sucks.

1. TOUCHING NAKED PEOPLE: Yes, I have to put lotion on naked people and touch naked people. No, it is not some silence of the lambs situation where, "You put the lotion on the skin or you get the hose again." But, it can be a bit um interesting when your working on your best friends significant other...and they are naked

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2. BEING A THERAPIST: During a massage appointment I tend to here all of the things that are doing in their life; from family issues, marital problems/significant others issues, and or work stresses going on at the time of their appointment. I hear some of the strangest things that unfortunately by law I can not divulge. But, the effort it takes to not make a face is the hardest part

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/blunttalk-season-1-starz-bl... GIPHY

3. ALL THE LOTION: The amount of lotion that you go through as a massage therapist is ridiculous. I have been a massage therapist for less than a year and I have already gone through a gallon (if not more of massage creme).

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/impastortv-tv-land-tvland-3... GIPHY

4. CAN I GET A HAPPY ENDING? Even though I am a medical professional, working in a medical office, and doing rehab type massage; I still/will get asked if I can give them a happy ending. For those who don't know what a happy ending is....google it....and it's not the one in fairy tales where they live happily ever again...

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/rene-russo-d6tW3eI7sRBtK">v... GIPHY

5. EDUCATING PEOPLE ABOUT MASSAGE: Clients of mine that come in for a massage usually have things wrong with them. Either it is a bad shoulder, back, or hips (and other parts of the body), but they think they know how I should do my job. Which can be extremely irritating. Unless they have gone to school and gotten the license please don;t tell me how to do my job. And I am not saying don't give me impute on your massage, yes give me impute and let me know if you like or dislike the massage. I am saying don't tell me how to run my business, because I didn't ask you for advice

via">https://giphy.com/gifs/rory-gilmore-know-it-all-i-... GIPHY

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The Life Of A Massage Therapist

The dark side of massage therapy

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

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What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

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7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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