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Life Through Letters

Memories are our surviving mechanism.

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Life Through Letters
Fatjona Lubonja

She saw her father for the first time through his writings. Suddenly her tears screamed for air. The suffocation of moist deep in the eyes was unjust. The emotion locked everything even her tears that have been always uncontrollably free. Everything had a first time, she thought, the first day of school, first kiss, first love, first everything, but she never believed that seeing her father for the first time would be after so many firsts.

“Capture me in your mind and travel with me above the mountains for eternity”, he wrote in one of the many letters. Suddenly he sculpted his wish in her mind.

He wrote to her every day before sickness took him over. He wanted her to know him, as he was, full of love for her, humorous, and a great story teller. For years he was lost holding no memories, elapsing under the autocratic power of Alzheimer. The degenerative sickness had played a coquettish joke on him. Every day he struggled to steal even the last seconds of being himself and remember.

Her last meetings with him were the end of undesired alien encounter tale. Looking older than those hospital walls, he had accepted peace with the enemy. His eyes were deep as the ocean, although at moments there was nothing there. As if everything inside him turned white, unexpectedly, he was a replicate of the surroundings.

“Bring me there,” he always said abstractedly, speaking his language. She carried his letters, written to her, and traveled looking through his mind. There she saw him. The confession of his life was handed to her. Jealousy no memory vanished and he was no longer a stranger to her. Suddenly those letters became his soul. She traveled his past through her present. Through those letters, she saw her father for the first time.

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