Costco: an oasis of bulk, discount shopping for Americans, filled with amazing prices, wide aisles and products ranging from sheds to sangria. It's like a supermarket on steroids. Dare I say, a super supermarket. And I have the pleasure of working as a sales associate for the company that provides the free samples. And by a sales associate, I mean I'm the free sample lady. Now, I only started this job in May, but during these past two months, I've seen and experienced things in Costco that I would never have imagined. Seriously, I've seen an old man and an old lady fight with their canes. Why? I have no clue. All I heard was this lady scream "Watch where you're going" and then, the canes went flying. Some of this stuff is seriously better than reality TV. But, this job is the best for avid people watchers such as myself, and in only a month, I can say I have learned some valuable life lessons from Costco. For example:
1. You're Never Too Old to Get into a Fight
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This one comes from the story I shared in my intro. That old lady was a true savage, and I aspire to be a cane-wielding fiend at the age of 80-something one day, too. She reminded me to never let anyone walk all over me, or cut me off with their cart while trying to pick up some Doritos.
2. People Love Free Stuff.
I could be sampling flavored poop, and people would probably still try it because, why the hell not? It's free! But seriously, people go crazy over the free samples. There are even some people that come in every day to just eat samples, instead of you know, buying an actual lunch. It's crazy, what some people would do for free food. I guess I don't blame them because it's the two greatest things in the world: free, and you can eat it.
3. People Will Buy Anything.
I once sold 80-something packs of 50-plus hot dogs in one day. Who in the world needs 50 hot dogs? Like all you need to say is a sale and bam, it's in the members cart.
4. Free Food = All Manners Go Out the Window.
Sometimes, I feel like screaming because some people really have a lack of manners. Like I can't even describe the blatant rudeness of some people. I've had members just ignore me and grab food without acknowledging that I'm speaking to them. And once, my lovely coworker, Maria, was making pizza bites for Costco's valued customers, when a man on a motorized shopping cart slams into her cart, knocking her over and almost having this portable oven fall on this sweet, elderly lady just trying to give out samples. Oh, and to top it off, he blamed it on her saying her cart should have had the breaks on. And he literally sent her to the hospital. But, of course, not everyone is a jerk like this man, and the vast majority of Costco-goers are wonderful, sweet and personable human beings. I am just simply pointing out the audacity of a few rude people.
5. Don't Have Kids.
About 90 percent of kids in the warehouse are little devils, giving me sass for not giving them a sample without their parents, or even going as far as take it off the tray, totally ignoring the fact that I told them they're not allowed. I even turned around once to grab more product, put my bowl of chocolate under my cart, and this kid went to the cart and stuck her hand in the bowl of chocolate even though it was put away. Like I know you're 5, but you've already had three pieces and that is seriously so rude. I never yelled at a kid until that day, and I am so glad I did. I had to throw away a huge bowl of chocolate because her parents neglected to teach this child manners. Therefore, I have decided that most children royally suck and the probability of me having kids has gone down about 50 percent.
6. Working in a Friendly Environment Is the Best.
I love all of my coworkers, ranging in age from 18 to 84, and each and every one of them is an absolute sweetheart. I love my boss, and her boss, and his boss. They are all super nice people, striving to keep a safe and happy experience for both members and their employees. I am so glad I have been able to meet all of these people, and it will be hard to leave them for school in August.
So, I'd like to thank Costco for helping me meet some really awesome people, and some not-so-awesome people, and teaching me some pretty dope lessons in life.
