When I was eleven years old when my dad handed me a stack of notecards. Written on them were affirmations that I have applied to many things throughout my tennis career, but also into other aspects of my life. My father was a hard-working athlete: mentally tough, true grit and determination, and never let a good opportunity pass. I think many athletes, and non-athletes, could use these thoughts to see the power of their mind, the strength in never giving up, and the ability everyone has to control their future. Here is what he wrote:
You are LOVED! Never forget this!
While this is hard to believe in times of loss, someone loves you. Whether it is your mom, your dad, you sister, you brother, your significant other, your neighbor, your roommate, your friend, someone LOVES YOU. Losing a match, a game, a job, etc. will never change how someone feels about you, if they are true to you. Someone who loves you unconditionally is the person who will pick you back up after you fail, and do it again and again until you succeed.
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Tough Times Do Not Last Forever. Tough People Do.
Adversity comes and goes. That is so hard to believe at times, especially in college. Sometimes I think I am actually going to die from stress and homework. But somehow, I am still here. Being mentally tough is taxing, but those who remain strong are the ones who succeed. You CAN do it.
One Point Does Not Decide A Game. One Game Does Not Decide A Set. One Set Does Not Decide A Match.
You may be down in a match or a game, or maybe you just can't get an internship. The moral of the story is that not getting an internship does not determine your future. Just because one non-profit doesn't want you, doesn't mean another won't. The key is to just keep chugging. Being down for a little does not mean you are stuck there. Enjoy the challenge. Work for something.
Your Opponent May Not Be As Nice, As Ethical, Or As Caring As You... Play Hard Anyway!
People are not as nice as you (at least that is what goes through our minds...). That is okay. Do not let the fact that other people aren't who you want them to be take away from your work. Control the controllable and make sure that you are acting in a manner that your family would be proud of.
Play Like The Score Is 0-0.
"try? weak" says my dad. He is right. People who do their best consistently do not even think of the alternative option. They do not think they cannot achieve something until they have lost. Never quit. There is no way to learn from a loss (failure) or feel the rush of a win (success) if you quit before you are finished. Get it done and follow through. Even if it is not perfect, give it YOUR BEST effort. You can always learn from failure.
There Is NO Crying In Tennis. EVER.
Keep your composure. Pissed-off, sad, tired, etc., DO NOT let it show. It can only hurt you.
-Have Fun- Laugh At Your Bad Shot, Sing A Song In Between Games, Breathe.
I fall so often, I have to laugh it off during games at this point. I am glad my dad thinks it's funny too.
So your new pants are way too tight. Laugh, take a picture, and enjoy life like my dad. Life is fun. Sports are fun. Being young is fun. You are going to mess up. Laugh at it. Learn from it. Breathe. Be you. Do not let circumstances dictate who you are. Let yourself enjoy and be in the moment. You will probably perform better when you are happy being yourself.
Pretend Kyle [My Little Brother] Is the Ball, Hit Accordingly
(Sorry for locking you out of the car, Kyle...)
Do what it takes to get the outcome you desire. If that means pretending your coach is the ball you are hitting, do it. If that means picturing your boss in their underwear to make them less threatening, do it. Figure out a way to make you most comfortable so you can maximize your success.
Smile!
Did you know smiling, even just fake smiling, actually does improve your mood? Yes, it is true! Do it. Having a bad day? Smile a little. Your body's chemicals literally make you happier when you do it.
Figure Out Your Opponent, Exploit Her Weaknesses.
And this goes for yourself too. Work on your own weaknesses and figure out ways to maximize using your strengths.
Win Or Lose, Shake Hands Like A CHAMPION!
Never be a sore loser. Everyone fails. It is part of life. Take it as it is and move on. There is no point in being rude to someone else because you are bitter.
You May Win Or Lose, You Are LOVED. Never Forget This.
Someone loves you. Do not let the fear of disappointing yourself or someone else change how you present yourself. You can't play not to lose, you have to PLAY TO WIN.
While I no longer play tennis, I still read the notecards before my collegiate games. The notecards remind me of how far I have come, and where I can still go.
