"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." — Soren Kierkegaard
We all have our ups and downs, go through rough times, make mistakes, etc. But those events are an occasion for you to reflect on your life and learn from the situation in order to prevent it, or at least be prepared for the next time it happens. Below are the general conclusions I've come across with experience.
Not getting ahead of yourself
Often, when we are in a position of comfort — whether it be emotionally, financially, in school, etc. — we tend to sit back and relax too comfortably, assured that the good will last. There is nothing wrong with being optimistic or confident, but I believe there needs to be room for doubt. By being too comfortable or excited, you may jump head first in new situations, consequently hurting yourself in the long run due to lack of actual preparation.
Remember that slow and steady wins the race. It's okay to be optimistic and want to tackle everything all at once, but there is a need to be realistic and go at a steady pace.
The importance of healing
When an athlete gets injured, he takes time off in order to recover from his/her injuries. Depending on the severity of the wounds, the healing time may differ, as well as the type of treatment that is required.
The same should apply to anyone coming out of a situation in which they've been hurt. While you may seem fine on the outside, the internal pain is present. By failing to acknowledge these feelings, not only are you straying away from the path to recovery, you are also paving the way for other undesirable feelings: anger, frustration, distrustfulness, bitterness, etc. And as a side effect, you might hurt people in the process.
Take the time to treat your wounds, by any means possible. You'll live better and it'll be easier for you to embrace change without having shadows of the past hazing the light of the future.
Keeping a positive circle
People like to believe that the people around you are irrelevant to your life choices and who you are as a person. However, I wholeheartedly believe that who you hang out with is a reflection of you and who you date is a reflection of you. Choosing people who aren't like you or are better than you doesn't do you any good, so what are you doing? The goal is to move forward, not walk in the same spot over and over again. Accordingly, you want to surround yourself with people who have positive vibes and energy to give off, simply because you will feel it in your life. These people will bring you up, cheer you up when times are dark, motivate you when the incentive is lacking, etc.
It’s okay to let go
This is probably the hardest thing to learn, especially if you're a person that holds on to things/people they care about deeply. But with time, you come to realize that not every good thing is meant to stay in life. If a person that is important to you seems to be drifting, make the effort to reconnect. But if the effort is not mutual, or the interactions seem forced, do not be scared to let go. The memories won't go — you can't erase a friendship or a relationship — but some people can't stay in your life forever. Once you accept that, you can go by every day with a lighter heart.
