Words. They can be everything and nothing. Sometimes we say things as filler. Other times we speak to comfort. Sometimes we try to fix past mistakes. It isn’t always just about the words, it’s how we use them too.
I sat for a long time and contemplated what to write for this week. I had a bunch of different writing topic paths to go down. I flipped through my various short and longer pieces that I’ve handwritten in the past, to see if I was inspired to continue one of those for a full length article.
But this week, I’ve just felt sort of empty. Like I could write things and they’d be meaningless. Like no matter what I’ve written, it wouldn’t be enough.
Then I thought about what I’ve kept going back to within my mind, over and over.
I want to use my words to help people, like writing has helped me. For now, I try that on a small scale.
Lately I’ve felt discouraged, because I’m not yet in a career that I’d enjoy doing for the rest of my life.
I’ve graduated from college, and I haven’t really made a lot of progress since then.
I’ve written, and grown as a person. I’ve tried to take time to discover who I am. I’ve stepped back, and tried to take a look at where I want to go, and who I want to be.
I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough. I’ve almost reached a quarter of my life, if I were to live until one hundred. My quarter-life crisis has happened, ten times over. It happens every day. Sometimes my mind lets me have an off day and forget about these fears, concerns, and uncertainties. Other days, I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole that feels never-ending and inescapable.
But then I remind myself that life is not a race. It’s not about who can get to the finish lines — I’m talking careers, marriage, family, financial stability, etc. — first.
Everyone has a different timeline. It’s not a competition.
Sometimes it feels like one, and that’s tough to deal with.
But we can’t know all the answers at once. Life can be unpredictable. Even “adults,” or “adultier adults” as my friends and I like to call older-than-us adults don’t have everything figured out. When we realize that every day can throw us a curveball as well as the people (parents, mentors, relatives, managers, and others) we look up to, life becomes a little more bearable day-to-day. Sometimes we find the answers when we’re looking the least for them. Sometimes we have to take a step back and realize that rushing things only makes life harder.
That being said, I don’t mean to say that a person should give up on things if they don’t happen right away. Sometimes you just need time away from something to gain perspective and try again later on. Other times you discover that you need to walk away from something or someone in your life to grow and learn.
Things take time, and I do accept that — even though I don’t always like waiting, or attempting to be patient — because without waiting, we wouldn’t appreciate the great things in life as much.