It's been a few days since I, along with thousands of friends and family in the Oneonta community, received the gut-wrenching news of the passing of our beloved friend, Stephanie Nogid. At just twenty years old, for some obscure reason, she'd been taken away from us. Just like that, she was gone.
She'd been one of the first faces I've met at SUNY Oneonta. We lived in the same building our freshman year, and we'd talk here in there whenever our paths would cross. Wherever I'd see her, her smile and shimmering blue eyes would illuminate the room. Although we weren't close, she'd greet me with an effortless hello on days where all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and cry. She'd say hi to anyone without hesitation.
You see, Steph was the girl you'd turn to for a laugh, or just friendly banter. I'd run into her on a Saturday night, after weeks without speaking, and it was as if not a day past by. She always had a positive outlook on life and was the most kind-hearted and genuine person I'd been lucky enough to know. She was everything I desired to be.
It was just minutes after returning home from a new years party where I heard the news of Steph's death. Moments after a celebration of happiness and healthiness for the new year had finally taken its toll, and I immediately cracked. I laid in bed, tucked warmly under my covers, to reflect. Not just on every endearing memory we've had together, but on life itself.
Hours earlier, my mind had been jumbled with excitement and bliss, mixed with feelings of worry and angst. Even when barged in a crowded room, an issue constantly ran in the back of my mind, no matter how involved I was in conversation. I'm usually one to mask my feelings, although at times I complain about the smallest of things and tend to forget what is right there in front of me.
That's when it dawned on me. Why can't we all just take one step back? Where we can glance at ourselves in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are only human, and we will be okay. We can be whatever we want, and everything we want, and no one can tell us otherwise. We shouldn't despise someone because they ignored our text/snapchat, or hate a friend because of betrayal. We shouldn't hate someone over rejection, or loathe a person who called us ugly or worthless in the past. We need to stop concerning ourselves with issues we cannot control. Rather, we must see the positive light through all the bullish*t that comes our way.
We take our lives so for granted just being able to wake up and see the sun rise and set in the sky. We can feel the wind sweep along our skin and we can breathe in the air. We have the ability to listen to sounds, and touch even the simplest of things.
The world has so much beauty, and it's unfortunate we become unaware of it when we're so fixated with perfecting our lives for others. Instead, we need to start living for ourselves.
Want to make someone's day? Do it. Want to express your feelings for the guy/or girl you've wanted for years? Say it before it's too late. Want to fall in love? Then finally let someone in. Just live, dammit. Live for something. Let go of all the unnecessary drama because realistically, none of it will matter. What matters is to live your life to your fullest, because you never know when it may be your last.
