March 5, 2017

Jasminne, once again, did not check the specific amount of time she was supposed to microwave her popcorn for. This wouldn't be such a bad deal, except is was 3:30 p.m., meaning she has absolutely nowhere to be, and therefore, had all the time in the world to read the instructions. I, now, smell of burnt popcorn.

March 7, 2017

It was 12:45 a.m. and Jasminne thought she ate her entire fridge. In between commercial breaks, she thought she could reheat leftover spaghettis and three day old pizza. She failed miserably. Instead, she managed to drop her bowl of spaghetti on the floor.

March 8, 2017

What was that weird dance she was doing? It looked almost like she sneezed repeatedly without stopping. Is that normal? 'Dabbing' when the frozen chicken nuggets are done to absolutely no music whatsoever.

March 11, 2017

It has only been six days and she has already had another popcorn conundrum.

March 13, 2017

It seems as if my cover has been blown. Today, she opened my door and stuck her head inside. "I MISS YOU, OBAMA." Yes, Jasminne, I miss him too.

March 17, 2017

I'm a complete mess. Jasminne hasn't cleaned me since February 27. I'm starting to think she is avoiding me altogether. I can tell. Today, she ate cold, old pizza.