I live with someone that has a severe food allergy. I have a constant fear that one day he’ll eat food that isn’t safe or a restaurant won’t be as careful preparing his food as they say they will be. There’s no guarantee that just because a box of cereal says it doesn’t contain any nuts, it actually doesn’t. In recent months, that fear has become validated by companies that have had cross-contamination in their factories. Food that we buy and keep in our home has been recalled on several occasions. What would the company do had their product put my boyfriend in the hospital? Apologize? No. They need to be more careful and recognize that the food they put out in the markets has no choice but to be safe.

Frito-Lay just recently had a recall on their Rold Gold products because the flour was contaminated with peanut residue. Information like this makes me so angry. There is a certain amount of carelessness that results from people being uneducated and ignorant about the food allergy community. Incidents like this one have become common and they are unacceptable. There are lives at risk. When a food is not labeled with a "may contain" or "made in a facility," it has a legal obligation to be safe from the ingredients not listed.

I put myself in the food allergy community six years ago when I started dating my boyfriend, and I take my position in it very seriously. I found myself becoming increasingly wary as our relationship went on. I noticed how little some of society knew about food allergies unless they knew someone with a food allergy. There was a lack of responsibility that people wanted to put on themselves when being told that there was a food allergy in their presence. In very recent years an opening of consciousness has formed in our society and people are more understanding of the severity of having a food allergy. There are commercials on TV for how to use an epinephrine auto injector, schools don’t allow nuts in their classrooms, most teachers are required to have an EpiPen in their possession, and good restaurants know every ingredient they use in their kitchen.

In my life it has become second nature to be extra cautious about everything I consume or bring home with me. I am responsible for knowing what I eat. I hardly ever eat nuts, aside from an occasional hand full of almonds, and those I only consume when my boyfriend is at work. I have to wash my hands, the counter and brush my teeth after I eat them. If I go out with friends I keep track of each item of food I ate that day and if by chance I had nuts I log in it my brain. When you are dating someone with a food allergy it is your obligation to keep your significant other safe, so no kissing if you’ve eaten something potentially harmful. I'm a candy fanatic so dating my boyfriend required my willingness to give up eating a lot of the candies that I love. Goodbye Reese’s. Even candy like Milky Way is off limits because although it doesn’t directly contain nuts it’s made in a facility that produces candy that does contain nuts. There is the potential for cross-contamination. This is information people need to be aware of when in a relationship like this. The least we can all do is be considerate. It’s funny though because I know a lot of people that could never imagine giving up peanut butter or Nutella, God forbid. I can’t even count the amount of times that I’ve heard, “I could never give that up for someone” or “I couldn’t date them.” Well, good thing for you, you aren’t dating them, and I’m sure they wouldn’t want to date someone so unsympathetic.

Despite the constant reminders that we both have to give people about his food allergy there are still those that remain completely thoughtless in both of our lives. Some of our friends and family have a hard time grasping the fact that when we come over you probably shouldn’t have a bowl of nuts sitting on the table, or that, no, I can’t try your drink because I don’t know what you’ve had to eat today and neither do you. It’s frustrating during the holiday seasons as well when we are making our rounds to parties and someone has decided to bring cookies that have nuts in them, therefore making it so all the other food has the possibility of being contaminated. Is it really that hard to keep nuts out of your dishes?

Now, I understand that some people may look at this as a burden, having to change recipes, remove food from parties, eliminate dishes, but honestly it’s not your life at stake and those that cannot see that shouldn’t be around someone with a severe food allergy. There should be an inclination to accommodate those that have these allergies. His allergen could be a lot harder to avoid so as a girlfriend I have it pretty easy. But there is still so much that people don’t understand when they aren’t as intimate with someone that has a food allergy.

Out of habit every time we grocery shop we have to check every single label of every single item we intend to buy, even items we have been buying for years because companies sometimes change their ingredients or what is made in their facility. Almost everything produced in a bakery runs the risk of cross-contamination so most fresh baked breads or pastries are out of the question. We bake a lot of things on our own. Items like granola are sometimes hard to find, there are only a few brands that we eat. We now have to be careful about what alcohol we consume and buy as well. Cider, beer, brandy, gin, liqueur, rum, whiskey and even some vodka can contain nuts. We always have to ask about certain flavors.

When I first met my boyfriend I had no idea he had a food allergy. He said nothing about it. It’s not something that is outwardly obvious. He didn’t even carry an EpiPen. After I found out I used to get so mad at him for not having one when we would go out to dinner because that puts way too much trust in the stranger who’s preparing the food. Since then I have learned so much about his allergy and about the medical risk his allergy provokes, namely anaphylaxis. I strongly believe that with so many people suffering from food allergies everyone should know more about it.

So, now to get technical.

It could take seconds for an anaphylactic allergic reaction to occur. It is important to know that the symptoms of anaphylaxis are not the same for everyone, symptoms can range from having trouble breathing or swallowing while other people may experience nausea or vomiting.

In order to reduce the amount of deaths per year it is crucial that people are aware of what having a severe allergy means and how to recognize when someone needs help.

Approximately 15 million people in the United States suffer from a severe food allergy, which is why carrying an epinephrine auto-injector is a life-saving decision and why I would be so furious when my boyfriend didn’t have his. His EpiPens have found a nice home in my purse to avoid any forgetfulness. They are very large though so I have experienced the dread that comes with carrying them (kind of).

This is why a few years ago, a new epinephrine auto-injector called Auvi-Q was put on the market. It is much smaller than the traditional EpiPen and it is the only epinephrine auto-injector that talks you step by step through the injection process. The whole purpose of Auvi-Q was to create an epinephrine auto-injector that would be easy to fit in a pocket to carry around, and to ensure that no matter where someone is when they are having an anaphylactic reaction there will be an individual able to work the injector. My boyfriend carried these for a while on his own and he loved them because they weren’t bulky. The thing is that even epinephrine auto-injectors can be risky these days apparently. Sanofi US had to issue a nation-wide recall on all Auvi-Q’s due to a potential inaccurate dosage delivery. In other words depending on your allergy’s severity if you needed a dose of epinephrine there was a chance that you wouldn’t be given the right amount because the injector may have been filled with the wrong amount. I found this situation all too ironic in an incredibly un-amusing way. I’m sure you see that as well.

Having someone you love spend their whole life having to be extremely cautious is occasionally stressful, but it also makes you very aware of how the rest of the world views the situation. You will start to notice the people that really don’t think having a food allergy is anything serious. You will witness the people who truly don’t understand how something as small as a food could be a threat. You will see people roll their eyes when you ask them a couple of times if they can accommodate a food allergy because they think you’re being overly concerned. In the past six years I have heard a lifetime's worth of negativity about his food allergy.

But there is also a community of people who do understand the severity of having a food allergy and will try to be cautious. Those people don’t have to be fellow food allergy sufferers; they can be some of your more compassionate friends and family. As the long-term girlfriend of someone with a food allergy I have put myself in a more connected relationship with this community than I would've ever imagined possible. If there is any advice I could pass on to other people who are in similar relationships I would seriously suggest having a conversation in order to form an awareness of how serious the allergy is and how to avoid any reactions. This is vital in order to have a successful relationship with someone that has a food allergy. Do what you can to make the person you care about feel safe.