It's been really difficult for me to start this article, and I'm well past my deadline, but I am currently overwhelmed by what I need to get off my chest. I do not wish to put myself in a position where the people I admire will lose respect for me, and I do not wish to lose respect for myself; that is why I have made an oath to myself to remain sober for the entirety of my college career, and perhaps for the rest of my life.
On special occasions, I was always allowed a few sips of wine here and there, or a glass of champagne from my parents. Yet, alcohol was never something I fully associated myself with. From a young age, I've watched my peers partake in social drinking and partying, both seemingly normal activities for young people. Personally, I have never been to a party, but I have been with friends while they've consumed substance. Either way, any situation I put myself in, I made sure that I was safe and everyone around me was safe. I would never let anyone compromise their safety, especially due to alcohol or drugs in any form. In addition, I would never allow anyone's actions to influence my own. I am my own person that has the power to choose the the path I go down.
That being said, will never judge anyone who chooses to go to parties or consume substance on a regular basis. I will always hold the same amount of respect for my friends that drink or smoke and for the friends that don't drink or smoke. Some might say that it's ridiculous for me to feel that way, but I've made friends with some of the most brilliant people and unless someone gets hurt, I cannot chastise them for their decisions. I have always known my friends to own up to their mistakes and learn from them, and that is where they earn my respect. That being said, I have experienced my friends feeling the same way about me and continuing to give me respect for whatever I do. As a normal human being, I continue make decisions and mistakes, but my friends still appreciate me and hold me in the same light they always have. However, not all the people I know will be just as understanding of my decisions, and I cannot risk to lose those people over the silly choices I make. That is why I have made this decision.
I plan on remaining sober from all substances for these next four years and beyond. It's not just for the people who love me that I am doing this. I am making this decision for myself; it is for the benefit of my health, for my self image, and for the impression I leave on people. If I achieve the goal to have a drug-free college life, then my self-confidence will skyrocket and I know I will come out happier in the end. I am excited to see where this path leads me, as I have seen many people who go the same route turn out to be tremendously respectful, virtuous, and successful in all endeavors. I am not saying that those who drink are not going to end up the same way, but I am saying that if *I* do such activities then I will be jeopardizing *myself*. There is nothing I want more for myself than to feel confident in my own decisions.
From this oath I am making, I hope not to inspire people, as there are many that have been sober their whole lives. However, I hope to establish some kind of example that it is okay to responsibly drink, and it is okay if you don't want to. It is okay to stop whenever you need to and to completely cut it out of your life. There will be friends and family that will love you, regardless of the circumstances. You are free to make decisions you feel are right for yourself. And sometimes you might make a wrong choice, but you will always be able to comeback from your mistakes. Nobody is perfect and we are still learning about how to maneuver through life. So, whatever you decide, I hope that you will only make the best out of it and from it, you shall gain self-love. I am certainly making the most out of what I do and trying to break free from all regrets.
“But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.” -John Steinbeck, "East of Eden"
