Life at 23?
All I’m saying is: Taylor Swift’s hit song isn’t singing, “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 23” for a good reason.
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Being 23, you are rough around the edges and unprepared for the future. It’s about being young and old at the same time. After college, we are all thrown into the adult world with a large amount of student loan debt, while attempting to gain an entry-level job to get us by. Some of us decide to go to graduate school to get the higher degree or use it to stall being thrown in to a world of uncertainty because school is all we know. Most of our relationships turn into dynamic whirlwinds that only the strongest people are those you call your closest friends. When you’re 23, the college life and adult life begin to overlap as you embark on this process of transition.
I admit the year after my college graduation was the best and worst year of my life. Not only was the environment around me changing, but I was constantly changing as well.
I hate change.
I was in limbo between being a college kid and being an adult. It was terrifying, hectic, and confusing because reality started to kick in. In high school, I remember talking with some of my closest friends about our big dreams and what they wanted to accomplish in college. Now that most of them have graduated, I noticed that many of their big dreams were put aside as they looked for instant gratification and opportunity because the financial struggle is real. I realized that my aspirations began to be more realistic and much closer in view that if I messed up now, I wouldn’t be able to accomplish that goal again because of how much time I spent to get to this moment. Student loan debt is a curse and a blessing at this point.
We failed to realize all the external factors because we were young-minded, maybe delusional. Without trying to sound like a soap-opera drama queen, I felt like my entire self was compromised when I realized that a fancy bachelor’s degree and confidence might not be enough in my post-grad life. Why? Everyone else is going to have the same degree and same confidence.
Now, 23 isn’t all it’s cut out to be, but I learned that instead of being stuck in the retrospect and thinking of all the things I should’ve done, I began to look at the present. The truth is no one, I repeat, no one has everything all figured out.
We just have to “fake it ‘til we make it” and be the best we can be. This is the age where we’re allowed to be confused about our life in general.
For those of you still in what seems like an eternal rut of feeling lost at 23, here is some advice that will help get it together.
1. Don’t compare your life to someone’s successes.
This is the number one rule. At a point so sensitive in your life, it doesn’t help comparing yourself to someone who is the same age and “acts” like they have everything all figured out. There are many 23-year-olds that have graduated, received a successful job they love, and are ready to get married and have kids. Nothing could lower your self-esteem more than comparing your life to someone else, but understand that you two aren’t the same person. Your job description isn't to live someone else’s dream. Just remember that the choices you make at this age will also set the tone for probably the rest of your life. You just need to take it day-by-day.
It’s okay to sit there and ask, “What am I doing with my life? What do I want?” It’s also okay to want to eat ice cream and binge-watch Netflix just as long as you get it together eventually.
2. Harsh reality: student loans suck.
Post-grad student loans begin to be a massive weight on your shoulders. To avoid this, it’s important to start budgeting your cash money. This is difficult because feeling like part college kid and part adult, life greets you with a huge dilemma of attempting to balance all expenses of your social life (like dinner, drinks, and dancing) and being responsible (like groceries and car notes). This will be difficult because not having money sucks and stressing about money sucks too. The experience of going through the financial struggle and responsibility of it all will make you feel like an expert once your 24.
3. You failed? So what?
There are moments where you’re just not going to succeed: career, love, diets, and any other personal goals. You’ll sulk and feel super disappointed in yourself because failure is not a good feeling. The reality of it is that although you fell short of accomplishing a goal, you hold this belief because you know you can do everything bigger and better. I mean, you’re only 23! You have plenty of time to be pushed down only to get back up a billion more times. You only get stronger and soon all those bold risks that you took will all be worth it.
4. Don’t get too caught up with life. Give yourself a break.
During this age, it’s so easy to lose yourself because you're immersed with your work and social life that we forget to take moments to just breathe. You need to relax because if you don’t, the stress will make you go insane. Allow time to yourself. Enjoy your life as you go through this transitional process and you’ll be just fine.
5. Life would be super boring if you had it all figured out.
It would be crazy to have everything figured out by this age. Let’s be real, college attempts to prepare you for your future career, but your life? Come on now. If you had the rest of your life figured out at 23-years-old, then you’re in for a rude awakening of routine and lack of excitement. Figuring life out is what keeps everything fascinating, and the experiences you have will be your best memories. Our internal struggles help prepare us for the future, and we’re supposed to work until time let’s everything fall perfectly into place. Don’t stress about keeping your life together. It will definitely be boring if you do.
