After being with the same person for so long, it can be difficult to remember who you were without your companion. A break up is often followed by grief, loneliness, and sometimes regret. Imagining what life could possibly have to offer in the future can be tough when everything seems so bleak; and those are the days that are oftentimes not talked about. Friends and followers on social media typically care most about the times you’re in a new relationship, when there’s drama to gossip over and how that relationship ended. Not too many people find much interest in the afterword.
But what we fail to realize is that the afterword is simply a new beginning. Once you’ve parted ways with your now ex-significant other, the next chapter of your life then begins. It’s always easier to get back with your ex, call them when you’re lonely or send them a quick text to just “check in”, but you can’t. This is your time.
This is your time to redefine yourself without someone always by your side. You regain your spotlight. People will ask, “So how are you? What’s new with you?”, rather than inquiring, “How’s so-and-so? Are you two still together? What’s new with him/her these days”?
As a young student who just ended a two and a half year relationship, I must admit that learning how to be content with my own company again has proven to be a struggle I was not prepared for. I graduated high school while taken, started college while still taken, and now I’m in my third year without a clue as to what single life is supposed to be like for people my age. Guys will walk up to my register at work and flirt with me, and I have already caught myself too many times feeling awkward—guilty even—and turning them away because I still have yet to realize that this is what being young and single is all about.
Whether you’re away at college or not, being single is about trying new things. Think about it this way: this is your chance to challenge yourself, get out of your comfort zone and do something you may not have done if still in that relationship. Search for new work or volunteer opportunities to meet people, reconnect with old friends from high school, strengthen already existing friendships, take that photography class you’ve been eyeing for weeks or finally gather the ingredients needed to cook all those Pinterest recipes you have pinned.
This is the time to find out what you like, dislike, crave and fear, not only in Pinterest recipes but also in relationships. Kiss your really attractive coworker who kind of seems like a jerk but, nevertheless, is still great eye candy. Ask that for that cute cashier’s number whom you see at Target every week. Compliment that random person sitting next to you in the library.
These are just a few simple ideas that could create new memories and learning experiences as you continue to grow. It’s okay to take chances, and it’s okay to play around without making everything so serious. Be young and be free. But please, do not forget to be you.
