A little over six months ago, I and many others lost someone close to us. Being only 19, I struggled with losing a close friend at this young of an age. I didn’t think that it could happen. I’ve heard stories of people losing their friends young, but I figured with my friends, it’d be different. We’d all grow up and go through college together and be able to tell crazy stories at each other’s weddings and beyond. A death is sad, of course. A death seems to make everything around you stop because ‘how can life go on without them?’ But it does.
The world keeps turning and life keeps moving on. And you know what? Sometimes, that really freaking sucks. You don’t get a timeout from the world and you don’t get to just shut it out. You don’t get to say, “Okay, I’ve had enough for the day, I’d like to just go to bed now.” You have to keep on living normally. And it’s hard.
I found comfort in the people around me when many of us lost our friend. I found myself clinging to my friends and never wanting to let them go. I was extremely saddened by what happened, but I’m also very thankful to get this slap in the face to appreciate the hell out of my friends. It made me realize that I’m selfish, I’m rude, I’m not that great of a friend. I was taking the people I’ve surrounded myself with for granted and I didn’t even realize it. Since our loss, I’ve learned that love is the best thing in the world. Some people think that saying “I love you” should be reserved for a select few who really deserve it. I think that’s BS. I now think that you should look for love in everyone that you come into contact with. Love your friends, your family, your neighbors, your enemies, that Starbucks barista that smiled at you, the waiter who seems like he’s having a rough day, love everyone and love unconditionally. There’s no reason to hate. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t lead to anything. Love can conquer so much, hate does nothing.
Along with loving, I’ve learned to just try and be happier. I’m trying to be happier with myself and the things that are happening around me. I have no control of what other people do, so I shouldn’t let the little things affect me like they usually do. I’ve recently learned about something called the ripple effect. I always knew what a ripple was, like you throw a stone in the water and there’s little waves that span out. Focused on communication, the ripple effect is based around attitude, tone, and mood. If one person acts a certain way, it’ll affect those around them and may cause them to act in a similar manner. Taking this into consideration, I need to let my ripple be a positive one and try to spread love and happiness instead of negativity. With so much sadness in the world, why not try and be a small beacon of light whenever you can? You never know how much someone might need that little light.
Most of the time, you don’t get a say in what happens in your life. Things happen and you have to respond and react to them. How you choose to respond to those things is completely up to you and you alone. Losing a friend young is earth-shattering and life-changing, and honestly really freaking hard to deal with. But you can take what has happened and let it negatively change your life, or you can make the change in your life that would positively affect yourself and everyone around you. You can live life a little brighter and love everyone a little more. You can try and change the world and make it a better place. You can spread faith and what it means to be a good person. I lost a close friend, but I know she’ll always live in my heart. I won’t let her passing make my life halt, because I know that she wouldn’t want that. I’ll live every day for her and try and make this world a little better, one smile at a time.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
