1. "Is it a banger?"

Because why waste your time listen to bad music?

2. "Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet."

Genius.

3. "Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot."

If there's one thing we know about Tom Haverford, it's that he hates working and loves to party! Maybe we all should start living by this concept.

4. "Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit."

5. "When life gives me lemons..."

"Starting now, when life gives me lemons I'm going to slice them up into wedges and throw them into vodka tonics, which I will then sip in a burlesque nightclub, that I co-own with actor Taye Diggs and two of the Pussycat Dolls."

6. "Haverford rule number six."

Good point, Tom.

7. "Love fades away, but things last forever."

Screw love, just buy a ton of stuff.

8. "Justin is hip."

Justin Bieber, of course.

Haverford is all about being "hip" and "cool." Certainly words of wisdom to live by.

9. "I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road." 

Again, genius, Tom.

10. "TREAT YO SELF!"

What would life advice by Tom Haverford be without "Treat yourself!" Literally useless, that's what.

What's life without treating yourself every once in awhile? Useless.