If any political ideology can be thought of as thriving in American today, it is libertarianism. The system promising small government, free markets, and private property has a greater stranglehold over our lives than any other ideology in recent memory with many people, from top political figures to that one weird stoner guy who lived on your dorm floor in college, either espousing their devotion or sympathies to it. And yet, despite its seeming reach in our government and influence over our culture, there is the inescapable fact that there are no true libertarians.

It seems counterintuitive that something that so many people profess allegiance to and belief in should be nonexistent, but in libertarianism's case this is the reality it faces. This nonexistence stems not from any issue with practice or application, although there are more than enough of them, but at the very roots of its theory. Libertarianism is at its root a philosophy predicated on liberty and property and therein lays the problem. Without devolving into too much of a philosophy lecture, Libertarianism is premised on the idea that if you acquire property honestly you can do what you want with it, and if you didn't, you have to give it back. It sounds simple enough and that is precisely the problem.

This third grade political program works fine if property doesn't go any farther than say an old t-shirt or some CD's, things get much more complicated when you scale it up to nation-states dealing with histories of enslavement and imperialism. Take for example the Unites States; most of the land this country was built on was ill gotten either through extortion, war, or outright theft from the native population. Libertarianism would seem to demand that either the land or something of equivalent value be returned to them as reparations. Now by quick show of hands how many libertarians have you heard announce their support for any sort of reparations plan? None? I thought so.

The fact is that most people who profess a belief in libertarianism do so to mask their true intentions whatever they are. Republicans do it to give their defense of capitalism and the status quo some measure of legitimacy. Right-wing trolls do so as a way to advance racist arguments without seeming racist. Tea Partyers do it because they want a system that's simple and doesn't require them to think too hard about their lives or place in the world and no ideology is simpler.

The best description of libertarianism I have ever heard came from The Onion of all places. It stated that libertarianism is things you ardently agree with mixed with horrifying things you would never consider. It lures you in with the promises of legal weed and gay marriage and makes you stay for talks about for-profit fire departments and the benefits of child labor. Libertarianism is at its heart a deeply flawed and overly simplistic worldview masquerading as a legitimate political ideology while allowing other more nefarious systems to use it as political camouflage for their schemes. Realizing that libertarianism is a hollow ideology with a philosophically rotten foundation is the first step to combating the effects of those who claim to act in its name. By stripping away the thin cloak of political legitimacy they hide behind, we can expose their abhorrent intentions to the clear light of day and drive them from our political home.