Why is a community apparently created for and welcoming towards lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, and more, not so welcoming towards the "B?" Shouldn't a community who have all questioned their sexuality and experienced homophobia be the most understanding? Why do straight people seem to be more accepting of bisexuality than other LGBT+ people? Bisexual people are often faced with biphobia, a term like homophobia, but for bisexuality, even in the LGBT+ community.
Some gay people feel like bisexual people don't belong in LGBT+ spaces for reasons such as they aren't gay enough, they don't experience as much homophobia because they could be in a straight relationship, they are gay but in denial, they are more likely to cheat, and they are incapable of monogamy. Let's debunk these claims.
Not gay enough? Why is the LGBT+ community competing for gayness? Different people are all over the sexuality spectrum, and each person's sexuality should be respected. Some people like one gender, some like another, some like both, some like other genders, and that's totally okay to like two genders. Some bisexuals lean more towards the gay side, while others lean more towards the straight side. Some bisexuals feel like their attraction is 50/50, while others feel like their bisexuality may sway and not always be the same in regards to which side they lean towards.
Whatever someone's sexuality is, bisexual, lesbian, or gay, people should be coming together.
This isn't a competition.
Along with competing for gayness, why are we comparing our homophobic experiences in a space that is "so welcoming?"
Sure, bisexual people may not experience as much homophobia since they could be in a straight relationship, but no one has the right to tell someone their experiences. Perhaps they have experienced homophobia from a previous same-sex relationship, for casual same-sex hookups, from family or friends that they have come out to, or from significant others that they have come out to. People cannot assume someone's homophobic experiences. For example, a gay person could come from a supportive family and group of friends, while a bisexual person could come from a homophobic family and group of friends, leading to the bisexual person experiencing more homophobia than the gay person. Bisexuality does not necessarily equate to less homophobia. An LGBT+ community should be welcoming of each person's sexuality despite their experiences.-this is not a competition of who's had it the worst.
Bisexuality exists. Human sexuality is much more complex than society has made it out to be. Plenty of people don't fall into a completely straight, lesbian, or gay category, and many people are genuinely interested in either gender. How can someone who identifies as lesbian or gay claim that bisexuality doesn't exist when they aren't even the ones experiencing it? I'm pretty sure an actual bisexual person who is actually experiencing bisexuality would understand it more than someone who is not bisexual. While some gay people may go through a phase where they think they are bisexual before they realize there are indeed gay, that doesn't mean all gay people did, nor does it mean every bisexual person is "gay-in-waiting." One person's experience is not everyone else's. Some people really are interested in either gender and a community that claims to welcome homosexuality should welcome a person that, you know, experiences homosexuality (even if they also experience heterosexuality).
To knock down the idea that bisexual people cannot be monogamous, too often bisexual people are told they are not dating material because they are more likely to cheat and/or will want an open relationship.
For some bisexuals, perhaps it is true they would like an open relationship, however, plenty of straight-identifying people like open relationships too. For others, feeling an increased need to cheat, wanting an open relationship, or wanting a threesome is simply not true—they prefer monogamy despite the gender they are with. Bisexuality doesn't always mean they are attracted to more people, but varied people and bisexuality is not related to polygamy. Sexuality and the practice of polygamy are separate, and people of varying sexualities are able to cheat or want an open relationship.
These examples of biphobic attitudes can cause bisexual people to feel left out of the LGBT+ community and its events. Bisexual people, and anyone on the sexuality spectrum, deserve to feel welcome. Sexuality is not just lesbian and gay, but it's questioning, nonidentifying, queer, asexual, and BISEXUAL.
