Social media is a great way to connect with people. It can even help you find a new relationship. But can the same thing that helps people come together, also be tearing them apart? In a new age, are we having a relationship with people, or with people's social media?

Millennials devote a large portion of our days going through social media. CNN reported a recent study saying teens spend around nine hours a day using social media. Now, I know most of us in college aren't teenagers anymore, but I'm sure we can imagine the number doesn't change too much once you hit 20. This staggering number is because it isn't time just spent staring straight at the phone screen. It's mixed in with other activities. So let's take a moment to reflect, how often do you check your phone while hanging out with a friend or boyfriend? Does it annoy you when someone else won't put down their phone and speak to you? If you answered yes to at least one of these, you need to start thinking about why. Personally, I rarely look at my phone when I'm talking to someone I enjoy being around. If I'm truly having fun, (as opposed to attempting to convince my followers that I am) I forget to check my phone and update social media. Following this logic, you can see how social media can cause a wedge in relationships. If your partner is constantly distracting themselves on their phone, it can bring up questions as to whether they even enjoy spending time with you. And if they have the phone out to constantly put up Snapchats and Instagram, do they like you? Are they trying to convince other people that they like you? Or even themselves? Or is it the instagram likes and the attention you bring to their social media?

I believe this brings up an interesting question -- how do we find the line of what to share about your relationship on social media? On one end, a complete lack of your partner on your social media seems like you are hiding them. Social media is a form of self-expression and people normally post about what is important to them. So in theory, you should at least be able to know that the social media user is in a relationship. On the opposite end of the scale, a person's social media is dominated and devoted to their significant other. They seem to only live, eat, and breathe for that person. This can come off as obsessive, or even overcompensating. In a healthy relationship, each person should be able to function on their own. So someone's social media can sort of serve as a litmus test as to toxicity of their relationship.

In this day and age, it's nearly impossible to ignore social media. We shouldn't ignore it, it can bring people together and provide a place to share ideas. People in relationships shouldn't delete social media, but rather mature and update with it. Even though you can basically create a new persona over social media, we should try to stay true to who we really are. Don't hide your significant other for fear of them cheating on you. Don't put them up on a high pedestal for your followers as a way to fix the relationship. We aren't Kardashians, we aren't getting sponsored to be perfect. We don't need to keep up a public image. Be real and genuine and I think that your relationship will work all the better for it.