As a 20-year-old junior in college, who went to public high school, and have had numerous family and friend changes, it is safe to say I have been pissed off more than a few times in my life. Actually, quite frankly, I'm about as emotional as they come so being pissed off once a week was not an abnormal happening for me.
And when I got mad at someone or something, I would stay mad. Then every little thing that person would do after that first instance would add to my madness until I decided to either let it get to me, or I'd get to them.
It made me miserable.
I was miserable because I was upset all the time. I was miserable because I didn't do anything about being upset. I was miserable because I allowed things to add up until either the silent treatment or a fight were the only options left. I was miserable because I couldn't just let things go.
Letting things go is easier said than done, that is true, but it is not impossible. And it is something everyone can definitely teach themselves how to do. Heck, I'm still learning and working on it. But I can tell you, once you start forgiving, forgetting, and moving on, you will be so much happier (and you may just enjoy life a little more).
Why is it important to forgive?
The answer is simple really. Say you make a mistake, not just a you forgot to take out the trash mistake, but a big mistake that ended up hurting someone you love. Do you want them to forgive you? Of course you do. You want to be forgiven the moment you make the mistake. You begin to feel helpless because you can't make them forgive you no matter how hard you plead; the decision to grant you forgiveness is up to them. Now take that feeling and apply it to someone whom you aren't forgiving at this moment. No matter what they did to you and how hard they have worked to gain your forgiveness, you have yet to tell them they are forgiven. How do you think they feel? The answer is just like you would, and as you know, it is not a good feeling, and it certainly isn't a feeling that will be productive in your relationship with this person. Forgiving people can be hard, but holding onto grudges can be harder. Forgive the people in your life who have hurt you because the truth is, you hurt people too, and you have been forgiven for your mistakes.
Why is it important to forget?
It is important to forget all the little things that people do because let's face it, most of the time the reason we are mad is because a lot of little things added up to one big thing. If we learn to forget about the little mistakes people make and not hold them against them, the little things won't seem as big anymore. Forgetting the mistakes that people make is a vital step in continuing a healthy relationship with people. It lets people start over and it gives them a second chance to prove themselves to you. In all honestly, some mistakes take longer to forget, but if you really love that person and if you really want that person in your life, you will learn that it is best to forget their past mistakes.
Why is it important to move on?
Moving on can mean two things. Moving on can mean forgiving and forgetting the mistakes a person has made and deciding that you are going to give them another chance. Or, moving on can mean that although you did forgive and forget what that person did, you are making the decision for yourself to move on from that person and continue life without them in yours. Either way, moving on is important for not only your sanity, but also for the other person involved. When a person moves on from a grudge they are allowing the person who made the mistake to forgive themselves as well. Everything is peaceful/civil once again and the person either gains a new start with you, or understands that even though you do not wish to continue the friendship, you do not wish them harm either. Moving on allows you to move on to bigger and better things with out the burden of hate in your heart.
Moving on from grudges is hard; harder than it may seem at first. But when grudges are forgotten, and forgiven, it seems as if the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders.
