"In the end only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
Over the last month, I've done a lot of reflecting on changes that have already happened or will be happening very soon and I've come to realize that it means I will leaving many things behind. Which I'm terrible at. I've had a few minor changes in the last couple of weeks, and I think I've been dwelling on them because they're precursors to the bigger things in life coming up.
The first was marching one last time with the Northern State Marching Wolves over Thanksgiving Break. Some of my friends were so happy to be done forever, and that makes me incredibly sad because it feels like a complete disregard for the amount of time that has been put into the activity, nor would I probably have ever met them since I am not a music major. I was a Marching Wolf for five seasons, attending every home football game in sun, snow, wind, or other, getting the opportunity to travel to high schools around the region to perform for future collegiate musicians, and opportunities to travel across the nation to perform for the president and for the memory of the fallen soldiers at Pearl Harbor. And it's hard to just leave that all behind without feeling like you're losing a giant piece of your identity.
A week after putting my drum on one last time, I performed in my last Choral Christmas Concert, which is also the last time I performed with all of my best friends as some of them are moving on to do their student teaching next semester. This milestone hit a little harder as I have been passionate about choir for the last 10+ years of my life. Who knows the next time I'll be able to perform in a choral setting? And what scares me is the possibility that the opportunity may never come again after graduating next semester.
And that brings up my last point of reflection. Graduation. Oh boy. Last weekend, one of my closest friends that I have been going to school with for the last 19 years walked across the stage and received her degree and is now off to take over the world, which is a giant reminder that I will be doing the same in six short months. And that will be the heaviest milestone to leave behind because it contains five years of memories and experiences, like the two I just mentioned, that helped shape me into a much better person than I was the first day I stepped onto campus. As soon as I step off of that campus, I will transition from "college student" to "employable real-world adult" and that means my mind and attitude will have to transition along with me, but I honestly don't know if I, or a lot of people at the same point, will be able to. On that same token, my best friends will be there right alongside me or watch me from the arena and we will all be on very different paths from that moment forward. And that will be the hardest to accept. From our late night homework sessions and laughing fits and nights when we maybe got a little too drunk, it creates a nice veil from the world that is quickly approaching. And somehow us crazy, stupid, slightly reckless students are supposed to suddenly be professionals in the working world? Yeah, right. How do you no longer let yourself act in the same ways as you have been able to while developing yourself? Maybe we'll never know.
If you've made it to this point of my article, I'm sure you're probably sick of hearing about me be sad about all of the changes I've been experiencing these last few weeks, so here is my holiday gift to you, dear reader. Here is what I've discovered (so far) about letting go of things.
First of all, it's healthy, duh. If we spend all of our time dwelling on the happy moments of our past out of fear for the future, we can't live a present worth remembering. For yourself, it directs your attention to the long, hopeful path in front of you. However, it also is beneficial for the people around you because they aren't constantly having to travel back to that time with you and drag you back to reality.
Try not to hurt people in the process of your moving on because you're blinded by what you need. Other people in your life are also going to need time to adjust to this "new you" so try and remember that.
Accept that it's going to be hard, and probably terrifying. If it was human nature to entirely like change, the world would look vastly different every single day. Nobody entirely likes moving on from the comforts of what they know are secure, and a lifestyle they know they enjoy.
It feels like these things I'm talking about pertain to a major life event just dealing with yourself, but really letting go of everything that you don't feel is beneficial is healthy. Everything from the level-entry job you hate so much to the state that you can't stand to live in any longer. Or the person you thought was going to be your BFF FOREVER (this is actually a really big one and I could write a whole other article on) to the marriage you're no longer happy in.
All in all, letting go is something that all of us need to do all the time, yet it's something that I think a lot of people are real bad at. And letting go is not about completely forgetting who you used to be. Nostalgia is great and wonderful as long as we remember that the times we are reminiscing on occurred when we were a different person. We can no longer live in that time because updated you has other priorities and responsibilities now. Just be happy with the life you're shaping for yourself and listen to Winnie the Pooh: "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?"
