The screaming, fighting, name calling and back stabbing add up. The days spent in a constant state of anxiety and fear just because you have to see them that day exceed the tolerable amount. The conversations which are not spent talking about the negativity become more and more rare. The situation turns sour, stagnant and toxic.

Every moment that leads up to a confrontation feels like it’s accompanied by a war drum. And then it all bursts. The tears, yelling, name calling, insulting and horrible falling outs rain down. And that’s the moment when we all would end a friendship. That’s the moment when a relationship should be put into question. That is the moment when the ties between people should be severed because everything about the interactions becomes less about the good, but all about the bad.

Why is it so much easier to let go of people who betray trust as friends or lovers, but not those who are family? Why is it so difficult to let go of family which shows no respect or love? Why is it frowned upon to disown someone? Why wouldn’t it be encouraged to walk away when all said family member does is cause pain, harm and anxiety? Why isn’t it OK to put yourself ahead of those who bring you down when they share your blood? Well, I call bull.

No one has the power to belittle. No one has the power to make someone physically ill when just the thought of seeing them comes up. No one should have that kind of power. Power isn’t used in this sense as a thing of good. It is controlling and it is not okay.

That is why letting go is necessary. When a person’s personality is visibly changed because they are just so damn scared to be around the negativity, that is when action should be taken. When it no longer comes as a surprise when tears accompany any mention of a person, then there needs to be a change. When family feels like a curse and no longer a blessing, then there needs to be a change. When certain family members no longer bring joy, but pain, that’s when letting go is the only step to take. But isn’t it hard?

Aren’t we supposed to love family regardless of their shortcomings? Aren’t we supposed to just shake it off? Hell, no, we aren’t. We can be good family members. We can love despite being wronged. But when enough is enough, rules --expectations, whatever -- throw them to the wind. Because in the end you have to live with yourself and only yourself. If you dwell within a constant state of unease and unhappiness brought on by people who are supposed to be close to you, cut them loose. It is not wrong, it is surviving.

Some may come back with the whole, blood is thicker than water, thing. But that quote is only half finished. It is not just “blood is thicker than water”, it’s “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” No one ever tells you that. There’s always more to the story. So open up your story, venture out and if there are ties that keep you from it, cut them; they are only going to keep you down. You can’t fly if you’re weighted down by those who would rather see you crash and burn -- even if they’re supposed to be the ones cheering you one the most.