I have had many friendships in my life. They come and they go. They stay for a while or only for a few short weeks. But, letting go is never easy.
Countless times have I convinced myself that someone would be in my life forever, just to have them walk out two weeks later. I know that there is a bigger plan, and people are meant for certain times but as I said, it is never easy.
I am the type of person who puts everyone first, I put everyone's lives, problems and happiness before my own. That is my own fault and I am beginning to learn from that because once you put other people first, it is hard to put yourself first.
I think everyone is so used to me giving them my undivided attention 24/7 that when I start doing things for me, it doesn't make much sense to them because I am not at their beck and call. I don't blame them, I know I have had friends who started doing their own thing and at first, I was a little hurt but then I realized, you need to let people do what is best for them.
It is a hard concept to grasp but everyone needs a wake-up call. You need to put yourself first and make yourself happy. You need to be able to deal with your problems and not have to worry about everyone else.
When I try to put myself first, I end up losing more friends every time. When I start doing things that make me happy, I start losing friends. I've realized because they are not my main priority, they think that they are not a priority at all. It is really hard to explain to people who believe you are leaving them that you are trying to do what is best for you without them thinking you are selfish.
There comes a point where you have to let those people walk out of your life but letting go is never easy. I always want to check up on them but honestly, if people cannot let you make yourself happy, they don't want you to be happy.
There are people in the world who only want to benefit from you. Nothing is truly mutual.
I have realized throughout many friendships, that have lasted my whole life or only a couple of years, that people only appreciate your friends when they are getting something out of it. Once they feel like they aren't getting anything anymore, they leave. They also tend to blame it on you but let me be the first to tell you, DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.
Do not think about how what you are doing for you will affect other people. Sometimes you need to be selfish. Sometimes you need to do things for yourself. If your friends don't understand that and can't support you in bettering yourself and caring for yourself, they are not your friends.
I have had a friend for 11 years and she is there when I talk to her every day and she is there when we don't talk for weeks. We understand that the other person has their own life and is growing in their own way and we have to support it instead of breaking them down for not being what we need them to be.
Losing friendships and gaining them is just life but letting go of them is never easy.
