My freshman year in college I dropped out of a military program. My parents are military and my brothers were passionately pursuing that very same military program I withdrew from. So when it came time to tell my parents I wanted to leave the program, I had a lot of pain and sorrow coming my way. I knew I was about to let my parents down more than I have ever done before, but somewhere inside me I hoped that they would understand. I came home and I asked them to sit in the living room so I could talk with them. As they proceeded to do so, I anticipated their responses which I was quite accurate about. My mom yelled at me and blew things out of proportions, while my dad asked some questions, said what he thought and then sat quietly. This went on for a bit and I started to sink in my seat as I could see my Dad’s bloodshot eyes beginning to water.
This was painful. As a “daddy’s boy,” seeing my dad so upset hurt me deep because I knew I had let him down. This led me to going on a walk during the intermission of the worst experience I ever had with my parents. I began to walk the sidewalk as I veered off and onto a maintenance road tucking back behind some houses.
Dragging my feet up hill now I began to cry and ache as I felt so weak that I collapsed just at the end of the path overlooking the town and it was here that I came to accept God as my Lord and savior, because I realized that as much as I wanted my dad to be on my side regarding the matter at hand, and I knew I needed a Father that I felt love from all the time and God is that Father. I realized that I don’t need my parent’s approval on every single situation in my life because all that really matters is God and living to serve Him.
Jump forward three years and I’m just starting my senior year in college. So I had accepted God my freshman year and became a Christian but I had not yet been baptized and although I had plenty of opportunities to be baptized, I always seemed to have an excuse for why I shouldn’t. The biggest and best excuse I made was that I had to have the right people there to witness it. I would tell people I wanted my dad to be there for it which he works all the time so I didn’t know when I would be able to do it. I wanted the event to be special and so in my mind I created this perfect image where I had all the right people there to watch and be a part of my baptism.
Yesterday however, I was at a leadership spiritual retreat and I realized that I didn’t need all of that stuff to be baptized. I approached my pastor and said, “Ryan, I want to be baptized.” As I said this I began to cry and Ryan guided me through reading Chapter 6 in the book of Roman talking about what Baptism means. I began to cry more as I knew that this is what I wanted to do and it would be happening the very next day when we went on our second retreat day at Roger’s Lake.
The day was a blast as we got to play in the lake on a boat, with canoes and paddle boards and other water toys along with a healthy dose of CanJam on land which is the greatest Frisbee game out there. Then dinner rolled around as the time for my baptism rolled around following dinner.
Pastor Ryan and my buddy Roenz we there to baptize me in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and as I went under water and came back up, I was immediately greeted with cheers as if I had just entered into a new family that was overjoyed to have me. I realized today that my faith isn’t something I have to please or impress anyone, but that I have faith in God because I love Him and believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins.
This was the greatest feeling I have ever felt and I had waited so long for it and all because of an excuse I made. An excuse that I never tried to resolve but rather I stayed stagnate and let it be. I see now how big of a mistake that was because following my baptism I have had the highest sense of spiritual peace coursing through my heart and soul.
So I urge you not to wait, not to make an excuse, because we often stop our efforts at the foot of our own creations of doubt and excuses. Realize that with the right intentions, walls can fall and crumble with ease and you can conquer whatever it was that was hindering you. So go out and break out of the barriers you put around yourself and be free.
