While casually avoiding my homework today, I was on Twitter and scrolled past a tweet that said: "Dear Self." One of my mutuals had posted a list of "Dear ..." (there's quite a few) and for every "like" you would write the miniature letter/note and tweet it.

Obviously, I write and have written dozens of letters. I enjoy them. I like looking back and seeing how I, at one point, felt about a situation. I want to know if I've changed. I want to know if I'm the same. I want to know what I will think about if I read this one letter two years from now.

I'm going to write letters this week. One letter for every "Dear ...". I'm staying under 280 characters (I'm typing on Twitter to make sure). I want to see how much I can fit into one tweet.

I want to see what I'm thinking.

dear self,

you are okay. you are good enough. you are going to make it.

dear mom,

thank you for loving me, for teaching me, for making me a better person. as much as we disagree or argue, I couldn't have asked to be raised by a stronger, smarter, greater woman. I'm very lucky and proud to call you my mom and to be your daughter. thank you for everything.

dear dad,

there are good days, there are bad days. there are days that I would love to forget, there are days that I would love to remember. I would love to know what you think about my career and my degree. I would love to see you at my graduation. I want to know that I've made you proud.

dear crush,

I don't know who you are, but if you'd like to make an appearance, I am ready to watch parks and recreation with you.

dear past me,

the bullying ends. the tears will dry. you will have friends that love you, really love you. you will find your purpose. you will see a reason why. you will understand. you will not hate yourself. you will not be sad. you will be happy. you will smile. you will make it, you will.

dear first love,

I don't think you'll ever understand how much you impacted my life. I shared my secrets with you, a bracelet that made four years of my life important, I gave you a hug that I waited eight years for. only starting as a crush, you instead became my best friend. thank you always.

dear future me,

I really hope you're in a city. I want you to be an editor at a music magazine, creating editorials and running production. I want you to be happy. that's the main goal. I want you to be happy. I want you to acknowledge your impact on other people. you are good enough, always.

dear best friend,

I wouldn't be where I am without you, all of you. I wouldn't be as happy. I wouldn't be as strong. I wouldn't think that I am a good friend. you never pretended. you never lied. you always tell me the truth and love me for me. you have made me a better me. I love you the most.

dear future child,

hm. a child. my child. I'm going to tell you that I love you, but according to how many times I tell my friends I love them, I'm going to assume that I tell you that I love you a lot. I am proud of you. I'm really freaking proud of you. I bet I'm bringing to a concert. I love you.

dear person I love,

you have absolutely no idea how much you mean to me. you have made me feel good enough. you have made me so f*cking happy. you make me smile and laugh and scream and cry and feel every emotion I possibly can. you make me strong. I hug you again soon and I'm ready. you're my idol.

dear person I hate,

I don't think I hate you. maybe I do hate you. I hate you for making me feel so low. I hate you for making me think that my life meant nothing. I hate you for making me feel that no one would ever love me (and so many do). I hate you for all that you did. I guess I do hate you.

dear ex-best friend,

I'm sorry that we didn't end things well. I am sorry that I wasn't the best possible friend. I was the best possible friend I could be, but that's not always perfect, and I understand. I don't like how you blame me. I don't like how you accuse me. I not mad. I wish you the best.

dear boyfriend,

I don't know who you are, but please don't be mean. that's it. oh, and please be tall and have brown hair and have light eyes. I'm not mad at the idea of you painting your nails. I also would love our date nights to be movie nights. you have to sing in the car with me. see you!

dear people who hate me,

apparently, there are many of you. I'm not sure why, but that's okay. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry if I didn't make you feel important enough. I'm sorry if I said something that offended you. I'm sorry for whatever I did. and if I did nothing? I don't care anymore. I'm okay.

*

Here are my letters.

I encourage you all to write your own letters. I encourage you to even write one and comment it below.

I'm proud of you.

You're doing the best.

Your friend, always,

Caitlin