To My Most Vital Loved Ones:
We have a lot of things to discuss. I'm sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it can be to get through these kinds of things. There really isn't a manual or any book of things to say. I guess I'll just try my best to help you all out.
Lungs
Asphyxiation doesn't look pretty on anyone. He took your breath away. He stole it in every look and every word that rolled off of his tongue. You feel betrayed because he was your life support. Pictures, videos, and texts send you into attacks that make you feel like a fish out of the water. Remember to take deep breaths. Look to me and I'll fill you with thoughts full of calmness and joy. Your world looks polluted right now, but trust me. One day you'll breathe again.
Stomach
Every time you eat, you can't keep it down. Half of the time, you can't even put the fork to your lips. Even a silly little fork holds memories of him. It reminds you that you shared so much: plates, thoughts, hearts. You think that because you fed into his lies and deceit that you don't deserve to eat. You deserve the most bountiful fruits that the earth springs forth, so trust me. One day you'll keep it all down.
Liver
Drowning yourself is only temporary moments of heaven that allow you to forget about him. That's what you tell yourself, anyway. That's a lie. Drinking makes you numb. It makes you reckless. All of the bottles in the world couldn't make you forget his face. Flashbacks are too vivid for you, so you'd rather watch them blurred. Even in your worst state of drunkenness you can hear his voice clear as day. Hurting yourself is toxic. It hurts the rest of us, to see you in pain. We know it hurts like hell, but eventually, it won't. One day you'll put down the bottle.
Heart
We sure have been through a lot together. We fight so much. I only want the best for you. I often tell you to get yourself together and to pull up. I tell you that he isn't worth it and that you're exaggerating. You feel shocks of pain with every glimpse of his face. Sometimes I play you recordings of his voice whispering his love for you. I only do it to strengthen you. I do it because I love you. Sometimes I seem emotionless, but I'm tortured too. We were like a movie, me and him. I sit up here and play it all back like a never-ending movie reel. It drives me crazy. It makes me angry. Sometimes I swear he's laying next to me one minute, and he vanishes in the next. I hassle you to get over it, but I can't even decide if what I see is dreams or reality. I'm sorry that I push you. I'm sorry that he broke you. Shattered hearts are the hardest to piece back together. One day, I'll fix you.
This body is in a state of emergency. Every day is another battle that we'll face, but we'll do it together. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to live. One day, we'll heal.
Love,
The Brain
