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A Letter To My Parents

Let me breathe.

11
A Letter To My Parents

"To be in your child's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today." -Barbara Johnson

First of all I would like to thank you for taking care of me all these years. I know it hasn't been the best four years; I really didn't mean to disappoint you guys in any way. Things between us have been rough these couple of years, but believe me I've tried fixing what I broke but it seems like every effort I've made has been useless. I know I haven't told you guys this but I am truly sorry for everything.

I've been thinking these past days about how the years of gone by so quick. I feel like just yesterday I was starting the high school and being scared. Now Graduation is about five months away and the reality of it hasn't really hit me; I'm scared that I won't make it. I'm afraid about what the future will bring. I wonder how you made out in this cruel world. In this cruel world where families end up separated. As I sit in my room, after yet another argument I'm trying to understand your train of thought, but as much as I try I can't seem to put my mind around it. I know I'm not the perfect child and I have my faults like everyone else, but judging me on everything that I do won't solve anything. Just last week you guys decided to argue my inability to contribute money into the house. Yes, I understand that, but do you think the paycheck I receive covers all the expenses that you're asking of me. I provide what I can. I have my own bills to pay and I have needs as well, so far I've done everything you guys expect and yet I don't meet your standards.

You're frustrated; I am too. I'm tired of being the unwanted child, the child that does everything wrong or that child that you're not proud of. I may be exaggerating but for now, this is how I feel. Unwanted. The reality of all this is that I need you guys more than I think. I tend to make myself think that without you guys I'll be okay. That I'll be better than okay, I'll be great. I tend to ignore that no matter what you'll always be my parents even through the arguments. I want to be able to talk about anything without having fear about being lectured on something irrelevant. I want to be able to fix the gap that has been dividing us for some time now. I want to be able to finally say that we are all happy and thriving. At one point I may have taken for granted everything you have given me and that's my fault. Even through all of this all I'm asking is to be there. I'm not saying we should be best friends, but parents who are supportive in my life and not my enemies that stop me from succeeding.

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