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A Letter To My Younger Self

A lot can happen in 4 years, but you're doing fine.

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A Letter To My Younger Self
Jennifer Stellmar

February 2013

Dear Jennifer,

As you are in the middle of your sophomore year in high school, and I am in my sophomore year of college (yes, we made it), I am here to give you some advice to help you understand what is happening. You are about to enter the roughest time of your life so far, but no worries, you will fight through it. Just be patient and stay strong. I know you are very stressed right now from health complications causing you to miss about a month of school and piano lessons. In addition, many changes are coming up and you have no idea how to deal with them. Keep your head up and relax because it will all be alright.

People are going to leave you, much sooner rather than later. You will get in a lot of arguments with your closest friends as they begin to take a different path than you. You have never felt so alone, and you just want to go somewhere new and start over. Do not worry, though. Distance will show you how true you really are. Be very careful who you trust, and watch what you say. People can take the most innocent words and twist them into a huge lie that leaves you crying on someone whom you least expect's shoulder. In addition, you only talk to three or four friends from high school anyway. Just keep your head in the books, and stop worrying about your social life. Stop trying to be like everybody else to fit in, because you are an amazing beautiful young woman. That being said, enough with trying to impress the boys. They're stupid, and just being yourself will do wonders for you.

I know that you are freaking out about your future. Trust me, that will never go away. You will go to music school like you have always dreamed about. In fact, you will be majoring in piano performance! You're not at Berkeley in California like you wanted, but staying close to home is still perfectly fine. Don't worry, one day you will get away. All I have to really say is to stop rolling your eyes at your piano teacher and practice!!! Take every opportunity he gives you to perform, and just fight through that Clementi piece that you hate! It may seem silly to you now, but I know that you only practice for maybe an hour a day or two before your lesson. Although the pop music is good for sight reading and it is more appealing to you, look up more classical music and just do it. Suck it up and practice. You WILL thank yourself later.

Boys. I mentioned them earlier, but there is way more to address. I get it, you're fifteen years old and everyone's got someone but you. You play your Taylor Swift albums and all you want is your Romeo. Trust me, stop stressing. When it is meant to be, it will happen on its own time. That boy that you have had a crush on forever? Just get over him. He is such an idiot, and after you graduate, you will only sometimes see him on social media. You constantly say how he has a thing for you, but if he did, wouldn't he have made a move on you by now? He just likes the attention you give him so get over it. Now that other boy that you like, suck it up and go talk to him. Two minute conversations and stares across the room will get you absolutely nowhere. He will basically fall off the face of the Earth for about five or six years, but he will come back. Remember what I said about things happening on their own time? You will run into him at two of the randomest places ever, and he will confess his love for you and ask you out. Yes, very fairy tale-like (you guys called it a rom-com), but don't get too excited. After a little over a month he comes to realize that he "doesn't really like you" and breaks up with you. It sounds devastating, but honestly it's bittersweet. Confusing, but bittersweet. Sometimes what you want in life isn't exactly what you need.

The last thing that I want to say to you is to just stop rolling your eyes and complaining. Just do something. I know it is hard, but you will find that if you apply yourself, even if it's just the slightest bit, great things will come. Yes, you have a long life ahead of you, but why not start living now? Take risks, smile more, and really make your life worthwhile. Listen to your heart, learn from your mistakes, and never fall for a boy who doesn't text first. You're gonna be okay, kid.

With love,

Jennifer

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