I like to remember the wind and smell of flowers on that day where you said you loved me, but if I forgot it, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Same with that funny time you trailed dog poop into my brand new apartment, and then we proceeded to clean it and kiss for the first time in an awkward stench. It was a good memory, but if I forgot, I think it would be okay.
I have forgotten how to make pasta.
I am Italian and have helped my mother make it many times but have forgotten the simple steps. I don’t think I have been so frustrated over something so little. I had to be reminded to boil water, soak, strain, and stir.
Then there are memories I have forced to forget and just can’t for the life of me.
Like when you asked me to marry you then 6 months later you slept with her.
I wanted to forget you.
And also I wanted to forget the difficult recipe of traditional Puerto Rican food that your mother taught me. I remember that but not the damn pasta.
Why is that? It is most inconvenient.
Memories of you are all too familiar. I wish things would remind me of the times as a child when Pepa would take me to Disney and I would order only a Coke and chicken nuggets at all the restaurants. He would get so angry with me at Epcot when we would eat at someplace cultured like France, and order chicken nuggets.
Or the times when I would go to great measures to create dances to Jesse McCartney songs in my bedroom with my best friends.
But instead, you gave me memories that replace the old ones.
The only dances in my bedroom that are remembered, are those underneath the covers.
Memories my brain refuses to forget. Or maybe it is my heart who chooses to hold on.
Why is it necessary for you to pop into my head when at the Disney castle?
Why must you have proposed to me there and taken me there on many occasions, forever replacing my Pepa and I’s memories?
Why is it necessary for you to pop into my head when I am laying in my bedroom, instead of the fun times I have had with my friends?
You gave me the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish I could remember how the Roman breeze felt when I went with my family, but all I remember is how your cologne smelled at the Trevi Fountain.
I wish I could remember how beautiful the Eiffel Tower was at night with its glittering lights and all. But all I remember is how you looked at me and how the lights reflected off your eyes and I became lost in them.
Or how the Tower looked from our hotel window but all I remember is how we made love in the city of love.
I wouldn’t of minded forgetting that, but I mind forgetting what I wanted to see in Europe.
So if you must tell me something, know I will never forget it. So unless it is important, keep it to yourself.
