To those who live life carefree, who take a hold on life and live it, this one’s for you.
There is something that many people deal with day in and day out. Whether it is undiagnosed or diagnosed, the consequences are still the same. We live terrified of what negative feelings will arise next. Even when we think we have "good days," anxiety never actually leaves the mind. It is brewing in our subconscious thoughts and can become active at any given time.
Fortunately for you, you don't have to suffer through what 40 million adults between the ages of 18 and 54 constantly deal with. You are so very blessed and you don’t know how truly lucky you are. But, unfortunately, for those that do suffer, it is ill-fated that you do have to deal with this constant panic. Those of us who do have this wonder what it is like to not have to arrange your life to try and avoid anxiety and to try and come up with a trick to avoid having to feel these ways.
You see, when us constant worriers go through the motions of panic attacks every day of our lives, it really starts to hinder it. Not having somebody there to understand just exactly how we're feeling can also put us deeper into a panic. It's a full circle of emotions. Trying to hold off on feeling this way while feeling the minimal symptoms and still trying to tell yourself you're okay. However trying to convince yourself that you’re fine while the feelings become deeper and deeper is near impossible. Then what choice do you have but to ride it out. However, this leaves many uncertainties; How long does it run its course? Am I going to be ok? What if this isn’t actually anxiety? The problem with anxiety- every damn day is different.
You may tell us we'll be okay, and you may reiterate it is "just in your head”. But believe me when I say, feeling different feelings that you're unaware of; is so damn scary. We could feel our heart beating a million beats per minute, and shake profusely. We take deep breaths in through our nose and out through our mouth. We think we have it settled. Then the next attack hits when you're feeling restless, constant fidgeting, feeling numb. Like I said, different attacks come with different feelings.
It begins to hinder our productivity, our happiness, our comfort and most importantly, our relationships, among many other things.
It is unfortunate for those of us that do suffer because when we are exhibiting our feelings of despair, worry, and anxiety it is better to be understood when trying to control them. Being around those that do not understand how exactly we are feeling at the time can weigh heavy on how we do accomplish getting through an attack.
Usually, when I'm feeling anxious, I like when there are those around me that change the subject, ask a question completely unrelated to make me actually think of an answer, thus getting my mind off anxiety. There are others who genuinely care and want to help. But in the end, just keep asking if we're okay, and bring it up over and over. This shows you care and want to help, but I know for at least myself that makes me worry about it more!
You're one of the lucky ones, who doesn't have to plan their day around "Well I would do this, but I miiiiight have a panic attack." "What if I go out and have to leave cause I'm feeling anxious?" or the times when you actually do go out and risk having an attack and just feeling so sickly that you just want to run out of the place. Whenever in public, I find myself constantly looking for an escape route, or figuring out what I could do in the situation if I did get an attack.
I want to stop feeling like this. Like I said it hinders a lot for me. I am as not confident as I would like to be and am always worrying about what the day will bring. I know that anxiety is all a part of our heads, and we just have to adjust our thoughts. It’s gotten easier with time to deal with this, but it is still something many of us wish we could just shut it off with one flip of a switch!
Anyway, we envy you. And when it comes down to the time when your friends are dealing with this terrible pain, just keep in mind we'll love all the help you can give. Just remind us your here, and try to keep us thinking of other subjects. Please, just don't ever belittle our feelings and make us believe it is something that isn't "so bad." We all feel differently.
