I grew up in a household were love and compassion were expressed in a lot of ways. It is one thing to receive love from others, but it is another to know how to love yourself. Self love and self value are so important to have in your life it isn't the easiest thing to figure out, but that is why I'm here writing this letter to you. I'm going to help you learn to love your self, to learn to value yourself, to learn to be happy with who you are.
To the person who is struggling to love themselves,
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Here are the 6 most important things I have learned throughout the years on how to better love yourself.
1. Feel the love within you and be that love.
Its normal to feel self love and self hatred. It is normal to not be happy sometimes with who you are, but the most important thing to do is to focus on self love. Try thinking more about the things that make you happy and the things that make you love who you are the positive attributions to who make you, you. Find the balance of things that you love and make that your way of finding self love. Whether it be through a sport or mediation, find the balance. Embrace yourself and spread the positive vibes through the things you love.
2. Be grateful.
Be grateful and count your blessings. Ask your self the question, "I am truly blessed to have ______, because ______ (why?) ______. Ask yourself this question about 10 things (items) that you are grateful every day or even every other day. The more that you do this the more that you will start loving yourself because you will realize the things that you are most grateful for in your life.
3. Be kind to yourself.
You may have hurts, emotional pain, and shortcomings. Learn to accept yourself, shortcomings and all, even if your family and previous partners may have berated you about your inadequacies.
We tend to be harsh on ourselves, often because the people who were supposed to love us were unusually cruel and heartless to us. We hear their non-stop chatter in our minds and our beings.
Focus on your many positive qualities. Focus on your strengths, your abilities, and your admirable traits. Let go of harsh judgments, comparisons to others, and self-hatred.
Be gentle with yourself.
4. Give yourself a break.
You're not perfect. No one is. You don’t have to be at the top of your game every day. No one is happy all the time. No one loves themselves always. No one lives without pain.
Be willing to embrace your imperfections and let your bad days go. Don’t set such high standards for yourself emotionally and mentally. It’s normal to feel sadness and pain and to hit some low points in life.
Allow yourself to embrace these emotions without judging yourself for them.
5.The love that you spread to others, bring that love to yourself.
When you think about kindness toward others and being love to others, you open the door to divine love.
Yes, giving to others is a gift of love you can often give yourself which brings you more love.
When you’re being kind, considerate, compassionate, and giving of yourself, you will simply be overcome with joy. You’ve reached the highest level of self-love in this state of serving others.
Find ways to do small and large tasks to assist those living in your house, neighborhood, or community. Practice conscious acts of kindness and giving.
The love you’re sharing with others in the form of service will help you feel more love and fulfillment in your life.
You’ll realize you don’t need someone else to feel complete any longer. You’re complete.
A relationship will only make you shine brighter and bring more love in your life.
6. Embrace yourself.
Are you content being alone by yourself without feelings of anxiety, fear, and judgment?
You may have to go within and find yourself to be comfortable in your own skin. Practice moments of alone time and be aware of how you treat yourself.
In the alternative, periods of introspection, silent meditations, journaling, and sharing your feelings with supportive friends may help you be more aware of who you are.
The process of loving yourself starts with understanding your true nature.
It took a combination of meditation, therapy, writing, and silence to come to terms with my past and my present. Only once I realized I wasn’t loving myself could I attempt to change that.
From,
The person who is still learning to love them-self.
